tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66146850164757213902024-02-19T07:41:52.366-08:00senseofperception - 70% reality, 30% fantasy.Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-64198659069433965542010-08-23T11:30:00.001-07:002010-12-06T10:39:21.147-08:00Mouth of madness.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiY3Qrm85_kT6Z5Yf-hT1OBCqOcgE6ip3STtXCRuatcq1ErbWA9jd-u2lrLAqgaIYMkCPRBIqWMRKSt7wsUgDablOieiXkLIcdREszM1W-lhlyXfUeU8HzM9fGwxgHIBjDiTs-mr95I0/s1600/IMGP0969.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5508675076010294738" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiY3Qrm85_kT6Z5Yf-hT1OBCqOcgE6ip3STtXCRuatcq1ErbWA9jd-u2lrLAqgaIYMkCPRBIqWMRKSt7wsUgDablOieiXkLIcdREszM1W-lhlyXfUeU8HzM9fGwxgHIBjDiTs-mr95I0/s400/IMGP0969.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgETk954TaIMmVMsWh-RL2sgp8gjisu8QjZP0VX4szN7oSQ3q9qYw70Q2IeKV0HRnY9vsbIFGXuhG7tS4Zt1KWRVwJjbV-Aeb_fr6cxc11wSVYH00QAR8KTlW1Im7JwJisQWVdCwFak1wE/s1600/IMGP0968.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5508674760984155682" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgETk954TaIMmVMsWh-RL2sgp8gjisu8QjZP0VX4szN7oSQ3q9qYw70Q2IeKV0HRnY9vsbIFGXuhG7tS4Zt1KWRVwJjbV-Aeb_fr6cxc11wSVYH00QAR8KTlW1Im7JwJisQWVdCwFak1wE/s400/IMGP0968.JPG" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">C</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">ome December 22nd, 9:30pm on the clock, I'd not long rolled in from a late shift at the store, heaving ques of impatient last minute Christmas shoppers and screaming brats wearing me out. </span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I was lounged on the couch, idly flicking through channels, on the verge of dozing off when there was an urgent knock at the door, with a strange sound of muffled whining and scratching from the other side.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I groaned as I rose up, aching all over. </span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I raced to formulate a good excuse as I reached for the door handle.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Listen Col...Just gonna get a shower and crash mate, really done in....Can I pass you those videos tommorow? Got an early shift, see...</span></em></div><br /><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></em></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><em>Poor effort that. Don't you memorise <strong>anything</strong> I tell you?</em></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Nah evidently not....Too tired...</span></em></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">If it had been Col, I just wasn't physically or mentally up to having him as a guest. He would invariably act out some really shitty straight-to-video action thriller on me, demonstrating karate blows, headlocks, stabbings, shootings and throttlings, always in a childishly fun nature, but leaving you knackered, feeling almost as if you had appeared in said B-movie feature yourself.<br /><br /></span></div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I wearily pulled the door open, seeing Dave standing before me in the gloom of the corridor, a ciggy hanging from his bottom lip and a carrier bag wrapped up beneath his left arm.<br /><br /><br /><br />"Allite, lid? Got somethin' for yer here" He smirked.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Before I could respond, a large brown/white shape shot out from behind him and leapt at my waist, pushing me back against the wall. Two sets of blunt claws dug into the tops of my legs and a long thin snout burrowed roughly into my stomach. I panicked and instinctively pushed the animal away with open palms, but it instantly lurched forward again, saliva spraying everywhere, a low whine and nasty-looking teeth flashing menacingly up at me.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Whoa...WHOA! SHIT!! Gerrit off! Gerrit OFF ME!" I shouted, desperately backing away as it reached for me again.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Dave sighed, and stepped forwards, smoothly gripping the animal by the scruff of what I guessed to be its neck and calmly pulling it away from me, its front legs raised in the air in protest, back legs struggling to maintain balance.</span></p><br /><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"S'alright, Snoop, S'alright lad.....C'mere, Snoop, C'Mere....." he whispered to it softly, and I peelled myself off the wall, brushing gooey dog saliva off my legs as I caught my breath.</span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Christ, when d'yer get THAT?! Vicious beast, that...." I panted, pulling myself up straight.</span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">With a simple tap on its nose, Dave brought the animal to strict attention and it instantly sat there between us, its mouth agape, tongue lolling, eyes still zeroing me with a fearsome intensity.</span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Sorry, lid. He's not an angry dog, just loves meetin' new faces and investigatin' fresh smells. Not mine likes, just Rob's mutt, ya know Rob? Black dude with the Marley locks, lives further out in Kenny? Sells a draw. But been havin' issues with other tenants in his block, racial bollocks like. This pet is so soft, would never attack any intruder...More like let them rob his gaffe blind and let them stroke him...He's harmless..."</span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">It was weird. Despite the brief moment of madness seconds previously, when I was flapping and screaming like the token early female death in a 80's slasher film, he had a disarmingly calming tone to him. I mean he looked powerful, useful in a fight. But he had people skills, he knew how to adapt to any situation and come out of it positive. </span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Right....just a bit wild, innee? I mean...only really like small dogs, me....Soz, Da. Wanna brew?"</span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Yeah, sound, lid...." </span></p><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">We sat in the living room. I composed myself, headed to the kitchen and knocked out two battered mugs of the drink that formed the British Empire.</span></p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"So.... Whatcha got for me there in that plassy bag then?" I asked Dave as I tentatively returned from the kitchen, always eyeing the alert mutt at the centre of my living room that silently beaded me with dark brown eyes, following every slow step I took towards the comfort of my TV-viewing armchair.<br /><br /><br /></span><p></p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Jus' a sec lid, show yer now" he grimaced in reply as he fished something from the battered Tesco bag...<br /><br /><br /><br /></span><div><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-72865109521161017352010-07-02T10:21:00.000-07:002010-07-16T10:54:25.123-07:00Scarred hands of an artist.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1yDuyCgxCO8_tR-MRgJ7fu8Yd6fACVyD8MG9iVAaSbewbUt8ElL2NBo0xniA_5yKqsWx_a8nflZ9414poAO7lXpHSm7biljavU1EVqS7T19rM2kLqrBRMuLCY4SOmSIaAdvdSe8Ab8E/s1600/IMGP0804.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491958711281817586" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT1yDuyCgxCO8_tR-MRgJ7fu8Yd6fACVyD8MG9iVAaSbewbUt8ElL2NBo0xniA_5yKqsWx_a8nflZ9414poAO7lXpHSm7biljavU1EVqS7T19rM2kLqrBRMuLCY4SOmSIaAdvdSe8Ab8E/s400/IMGP0804.JPG" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><div><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:#ff0000;">I</span>t took maybe 3 days to dig out a suitable snap of the parents. A laborious rummage through forgotten, overloaded drawers and dusty neglected card-board boxes that had never been unpacked since moving into the cubes. Used AA batteries, long-past birthday cards and various keyrings, pencils and other assorted shite I tended to hoard like a forgetful magpie. I eventually came across what I was after.</span></span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">A nice relaxed shot of the two of them on the living room couch, radiating affection and family vibes. Ironically taken by an ex-bird, whose photos of ourselves had long been banished to a bin-bag. </span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">Sometimes, you gotta put sentimentality to the back of your skull and clear the mental slate...</span></em> </span></span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">Such is the case here, I know .....yet some things are worth hanging onto.</span></em></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I headed downstairs to the ground hall, clutching the beat-up photo in my right hand as I tapped lightly on the door of flat 1.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">There was no immediate response, yet I could hear muted rock n' roll from behind the door and sounds of slovenly movement. I hesitated for a few awkward seconds, then rapped the door again with my knuckles, slightly louder this time.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">There was a harsh, hacking cough, obviously from a heavy smoker. Weary, languid footsteps approached the other side of the door and I subconsciously stepped back slightly as keys were roughly twisted in the lock. The handle swung down aggressively and the door opened inward creakily, just by a few inches.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;">A stern looking left eye with an arched eyebrow raised above it appeared in the slot, too gloomy and indistinct to see properly in the poor light of the corridor. I could now clearly make out Led Zeppelin as the background music..<em>Over the hills and far away...</em></span></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Yeah...? Whatcha after?" asked a gruff, throaty voice from an unseen mouth, more of a command than a question.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">A nervous energy overtook me. The kind that you only get when you tell a lie or chat a bird up or go on a job interview. You know, when your mouth become independent of your brain and does it's magic...or conversely, does some serious damage you found you couldn't dig yourself out of...</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">Go with it, pussy. Thought you were a social creature at heart? Wake up, won't you?</span></em></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Erm....Sorry to disturb you...Dave..It IS Dave, right? Just...I live in the flat upstairs...number 10, like....Been here coupla months...I'm kinda mates with Col...You know, Col?"</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The eye flickered about, it's pupil sharpening for a split second, then noticeably expanding at the mention of Col's name.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Col, eh? Go 'ead, lad..." The voice said, softening slightly.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Oh, yeah...Col...Nice lad...kinda loose and that in the head...but wonderful fella" I stammered.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"HAHAHA HAAA-AAA! Ya got that right, lid....Eee's certainly a character...He give you his DVD's from Cash Convertors yet?" The eye said, warming to the conversation with a squint and a smile around it's lids.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"DVD'S? Oh yeah...right.....Yeah...He gave me like, 20 of 'em...ain't watched any yet...saw most of 'em before...Pretty poor selection...Van Damme, Seagal..Channel 5 shit, all the way, really.... but didn't wanna say so...woulda probably...Hurt his feelings...Knowhadamsayin?" </span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Been there....Always tries to off-load 'em on me, too.....But as yer say, cracking lad, is our Col. No bad in him.....Good skin. Proper Scouser...Anyone who picks up on that is alright by me, kidda..."</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The door swung fully open.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">The Robert Johnson / 60's British invasion blues of Page, Plant and co. grew to full volume, and I finally saw Dave in the full flesh. </span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"C'mon in, kid. What's yer name?"</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">He was tall - probably about 6'2". A wiry frame with a thin torso covered by a grubby paint-specked Nike vest, framed with powerful, veiny arms. Sinewy legs in his 3/4 length Adidas shorts. Battered slippers. Yet he looked athletic, agile. Going by his general appearance, he looked maybe 40ish. His forehead was furrowed, it had seen a lot of fights. Tiny white scars around the bridge of his crooked nose, that looked like someone had slammed it out of place on a drunken night decades earlier. Yet his smile was amiable, chilled out. And he was open, friendly.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Sure...It's Fred...Me name, that is.....Thanks, Dave..." I mumbled as I stepped into his cube.</span></div><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">There was a tiny cramped hall dominated by hanging jackets on the back of the front door that you had to brush your way past, two steps through them to the right and you were in the front room. Two battered leather couches placed either side on the dull red carpet, a strangely elegant and fragile-looking glass coffee table between them, covered with tobacco, remote controls, pens and pencils of various colours and scraps of paper. There was a makeshift desk fashioned from an old door seemingly ripped from an ancient Oak wardrobe that ran across the far length of the room beneath the window, a tiny portable TV at the left side of it running a muted episode of <em>The World At War</em>. The bulk of the desk was taken up by a huge array of artist materials - A home-made lightbox, sheets of A4 paper, old coffee jars stuffed with charcoals, brushes and colouring pencils. The only light in the room other than the TV, came from a carefully placed fluorescent tube that sat above the desk, a large white professional draughtsman's sketch board sitting directly beneath it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Siddown, lid. Fancy a brew? Just gonna make one..?" Dave chirped, a rolled smoke hanging from his grinning lips.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Tea would be smart. No sugar please, Dave.."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />He nodded and bent down to scoop up two cups at the foot of his desk, and shuffled off into his kitchen to the left.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Been here a few weeks, now, yeah? Seen yer about the block....Whatcha make of it?" he shouted over the sound of the taps running as he roughly clattered the cups about in the sink.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Yeah....Moved up from the other end of Wavertree...Much better flat than my last one....Still gettin' organised like, but its decent enough.." I replied, peering around the living room walls in the poor light.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"It's not that bad in 'ere..most of the time...just can get a bit wild of a weekend...I'm sure you'll suss that out for yerself though..." He shouted back, the sound of a kettle starting up gradually growing louder, fighting to be heard over Plant's screams coming from the tiny CD player that I guessed was in the back bedroom.<br /><br /><br /><br />I had a sudden double take, then looked again. Closer to the ceilings, running the full perimeter of every wall were what looked like large photographs, mainly black and white, some colour ones dotted amongst them. I stood up and stepped towards ,the wall to my right, kneeling up on the couch as I examined them closer.<br /><br /><br /><br />I reached up and touched one of them, the features clearer now. It was a head shot of Al Pacino, <em>Scent of A Woman</em> era. But then it wasn't a photo...the texture was coarse... it felt like paper, not a glossy print. There was a tiny "DA" scrawled in the bottom left corner.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Took me about two days, that one....wasn't too happy with the end result, likes.."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I slid back away from the wall, turning to see Dave standing behind me nodding up to the portrait, two cups in his hands.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Oh...sorry... Didn't mean to mess with it...just that it's great...Thought it was a photo at first...." I replied awkwardly.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Nah...I've done better..Far better when I've concentrated..Tea?" he offered me a mug.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Oh cheers..Thanks...That's...somethin' else, that man...wish I could draw like that....You did that in what, just two days? That's far out.....Really, amazing stuff.."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I took the warm mug from him and sat back down, gesturing towards the four walls.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"You do this for a living, Dave? I mean...Looks really professional work..."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />He sat at his desk, his side to me, placing his mug down and picking up a HB pencil.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />"Nah...more of a past-time really. Always felt I never had the ability to draw, and felt I should try an' conquer something I thought I was always incapable of...Took me 'till I was 35 to realise that....After me marriage broke down, 'an I moved in here 4 years ago I had a lot of spare time on me hands..." He shrugged casually.<br /></span><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I didn't want to press him about it further. </span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><em>Some old wounds there, for sure.....</em></span></p><p><em><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"></span></em></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"So...You do portraits...family ones, I mean?" I mumbled as I tentatively offered him the photo of my folks.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">He took it from me and examined it closely for a moment, holding it to the tube light and screwing his face up at it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Hmmm...It ain't a bad photo...Could do with it bein' a lil' bigger, maybe..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Oh, right...I got plenty more, just can't find 'em at the moment..." I said somewhat despondently.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"S'alright, kid. I can grid it out and use my magnifying gear, enlarge it. You want it A4, yeah?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Yeah...A4 would be great...Need to pick a frame up from somewhere though..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Don't worry about that, I got loads of spare ones in the back room....I'm guessin' you'll be needin' this ready for Christmas, right?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Absolutely...thought it'd make a nice gift for them" I then realised that it was already December 20th.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Four days enough for you, Dave? Sorry if it ain't.... I mean, I shoulda asked earlier, like...?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"No problem. It's more than enough time, that. Just gizza knock on say.... Tuesday. It'll be well boxed off by then."</span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">"Right....Tuesday....Thanks Dave. I Gotta say, if the results are a tenth as good as your other stuff, it'll make a great gift..."</span></p>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-37888244729085361992010-05-05T09:33:00.000-07:002010-05-19T14:15:56.233-07:00Jesus wears a Nike cap.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14q9SMpnD7WrnpBdXrDGjW41wIWXK_kXng22-_xSTVCHLJ7zDWp9JusfNqZgF5AJTvHnFLX_Ih_SUaYgj096YL8nMcixBVlffckDr17h8g4YZKVNntSlxank6QQg6diDmAq2KD-K7DOU/s1600/FF_109318_xl.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14q9SMpnD7WrnpBdXrDGjW41wIWXK_kXng22-_xSTVCHLJ7zDWp9JusfNqZgF5AJTvHnFLX_Ih_SUaYgj096YL8nMcixBVlffckDr17h8g4YZKVNntSlxank6QQg6diDmAq2KD-K7DOU/s400/FF_109318_xl.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473090521191519298" /></a><br /><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">n the immediate aftermath of Linda and the brief bout of angst and self pity she had triggered, life inevitably rolled on.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It just had to.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dwelling on it was only making me insane.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At quiet moments when I studied it, in truth she was an amateur compared to some of the other females I knocked around with in the past. There had been far, far worse situations to deal with - she was small-time in the "painful past relationship" league table</span></span></span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was just the banal disappointment of what had happened that bit me deep. I'd have sooner had screaming, insults and general abuse than lame, ignorant silence and empty blank stares. A bit of passion would have made it probably a lot easier to forget.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Tick-tock, we don't stop....</span></span></em></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Work only got busier and demanded more effort and concentration, bills still had to be settled, the match was still a highlight of most weekends, and laundry had to be washed, dried and ironed. </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I busied myself with making slight improvements to my cube, a lick of paint here, a couple of framed prints there, new shower curtains and a stolen laundry basket from the local Liver laundrette being the most notable additions. I didn't have luxuries such as a washing machine or tumble dryer, but Dean down the corridor was always on hand to let me use his gear, and I'd throw him a few cans of lager in return.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">With Christmas fast approaching, I was struggling to decide on what to buy for my immediate family. Many fruitless trips into the city centre, both before and after work in the music store, were only making it tougher to settle on gifts. There was almost too much choice, but nothing really struck me as original or memorable to offer to them.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">After much deliberation, I eventually bought my brother a steel grey zip-up hooded Bench top from the Westworld store on Bold Street. I figured he wore his branded wear like tattoos, and that it was a fairly fashionable and subtle effort that might - just might - be to his liking.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">My parents, however were a different matter. I always tried to get them each something special, that they wouldn't leave in a cupboard or stranded in the spare room of their cozy little flat.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Inspiration came from an unlikely source.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Col.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was a Tuesday. </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There was nothing on the personal agenda other than some pasta with spicy Dolmio tomato and herb sauce, pre-cooked chicken and a concerted effort to progress on Final Fantasy 10 on the Playstation. Then sleep if I could manage any, the alarm on my mobile phone rousing me and back to the same old sketch. </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I hadn't seen him for weeks - not since he had insisted on lending me that stack of awful z-list action DVDs he had picked up from the Cash Convertors store on London Road. He was loitering in the ground floor corridor, his Nike Cap on his bald dome as always, pacing around with a battered grimy Head backpack hanging from his right shoulder, knocking on flat 1's door with heavy rhythmic regularity as I came in from work.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He practically bear-hugged me as he spotted me coming in the front door, his podgy arms gripping my sides, dropping his backpack to the floor. I could smell extra-strength lager on his breath as he spoke in his peculiarly whining voice.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Alright there, Eric lad? Just finished work 'ave yer? Put on a bit weight eh lad? Looking well, lad...Spot on"</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...Good to see you too, Col. Been up to much? Ain't seen you for time, likes..." I responded wearily. Work had been shattering, and god bless Col, I just wasn't able to keep up with his frenetic patter, even though it was strangely endearing. I tried not to show my urge to get to my cube and crash on the couch.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"A'vent seen Dave 'ave yer lad? Been knocking for abaar...20 minutes..."</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Dave?" I replied quizzically.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I only really knew Dean and Col in the block, everyone else was pretty low profile. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Which is pretty much how I liked it, to be fair.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah, big Dave lad. Spot on lad, he is lad. Does them boss portraits, remember I told yer ages ago?"</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><em><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Portraits...now there's an angle for you...</span></span></em></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Right, yeah, big Dave...Think I know who you mean....Don't really know him Col, to be honest with you...But is he any good? At the artwork I mean?"</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Col puffed up his chest in pride, a sentimental look easing across his chubby perspiring face as he replied.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"UNBELIEVABLE, Lad. Spot on, he is lad. Honest. Does it all in pencils and charcoals and that, good at oils and all that an' all. Should see the ones he's done of famous ones like John Lennon, Paul Weller, Nelson Mandela.......an' the other fella...had a scatty bird...shot himself..."</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"What, you mean Kurt Cobian? Out of Nirvana?"</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"RIGHT! Spot on, Eric...Kurt Cobain, that's him.. .and loads more. Like photos they are Eric, lad. No messin'"</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He nodded sagely, eyes squeezed tightly shut behind his thin glasses, looking almost like a little Buddha with a Nike cap on, dispensing worldly wisdom.</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Right....I may give him a knock sometime, now you mention it, Col...Got a portrait in mind he could maybe have a go at, actually.."</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He reached out and patted my left shoulder heartily, almost sending me to the floor with his surprising force.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Trust us, lad, They're well smart...When yer see them, you'll be knocked out, lad..."</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...I'll deffo check him out later on, Col.....Listen.....I'm Just gonna head to mine to get some chow and have a lie down, I'm done in mate.."</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He released my shoulder and scooped up the battered backpack. I often wondered what he carried around in there. </span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He would produce massive toilet rolls from the depths of that bag, the huge industrial ones you found in airports and railway stations. He must have figured out how to remove them from the tough plastic containers that were fixed to the cubicle walls. He would then practically force me to take one off him, insisting it would save me loads of money, and it'd last for a month. I would always crack under pressure and accept. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He meant well of course, but his random nature left you scratching your head for days afterwards.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Seeing he was about to leave, I noticed something shiny hanging from the right pocket of his grimy Tracksuit pants. It looked like foil from a sweet wrapper.....It was hanging precariously, just about ready to fall out.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Say........Something's fallin' out your trackies, there Col..." I said as I pointed towards it.</span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He peered down to his right side and then looked back up, a sly grin on his chubby lips. He stuffed the silver material back into his pocket hastily, shooting me a knowing wink as I stared back, shaking my head silently in bemusement.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span> </span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"I know what yer thinkin', Eric lad...But it's nothin' like that yer know...." He beamed strangely.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Nah...it's just...I dunno...What's it for then?" I replied dopily.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">His shoulders hunched and, and he leaned forwards towards me whispering hesitantly, looking behind himself nervily as though someone was spying on him.<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"See...No-one's onto this, but I'll tell yer, cos yer a sound lad, Eric lad..... Eric Lad....But Lemme ask yer...What hand do yer use...I mean...are yer a lefty or a righty, lad...?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"What?.....Erm...OK....Right handed..."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"So...... yer usually....most of the time... put yer mobile in yer right hand pocket then, lad?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Erm....Yeah, Col...I suppose I do, like..."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He looked about us again, and leaned even closer, his voice dropping to that of a barely audible level. I strained to follow him as he continued.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"See...No-one's onto this Eric lad....But all mobile phones....They give out radiation....X-rays and that, right?..... And them X-rays make you sterile...give you tumors and that...They even cook yer brain when you use 'em.......And 'cos o' that........all the mobile firms......and the governments..... don't want loads of court cases and millions of people suing 'em......they've kept it all quiet, like.....So here's what yer do Eric, lad.....Just get a load of foil and line yer right pockets on all yer kecks and trackie bottoms....That way, yer town halls will be safe from the x-rays, an yer won't go sterile.....Cos the foil protects yer balls from the radiation......."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I stood in disbelieving silence for maybe a minute, nodding my head with a flimsy smile.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He reached for my hand and gripped it tightly, shaking it up and down slowly.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Like I said, Eric lad....No-one's onto it....Remember I told yer first.....Follow that bit of advice, y'hear lad....?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Ye-Yeah...Right.....Thanks, Col...."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He released my hand and turned away, shooting me another wink, as he made for the door.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Take it easy, Eric Lad....An' remeber what I told yer, now....An' always look after yer mam, lad....No better mate than yer mam, Eric Lad..."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He then left me alone in the darkened corridor, as the heavy front door slammed roughly shut behind him.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That was just one of many mind-bending experiences with Col. I mean, he was something else, truly. If he didn't really exist (which I seriously pondered over at times), you would never be able to invent him. I used to think he was like a benevolent genie, a friendly ghost or a playful apparition. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I never used to see him on the street or in the pubs or shops around the cubes, only in their gloomy damp halls. He left you mentally and physically drained when you bumped into him, such was his ranting energy and bouncing physical, child-like persona. Yet you always wanted him to come back whenever he left, as he posed so many questions that you only thought of when he was out of sight. It was fascinating and frustrating at the same time.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was as if he truly believed everything he spouted - however irrational and outlandish it seemed to others, his mind-set was damn-near unbreakable. And he was impossible not to like, there was no badness in him, no sly edge, no deception or lies......</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At least he's given you the opportunity to knock for this Dave character, be a bit more sociable since you're over that head-fuck of a bird........</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Yes, little demon. You're right...I just gotta dig out that cracking photo of me mam and dad first though.....</span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-89410614409134011972010-03-29T12:11:00.000-07:002010-03-29T14:22:30.860-07:00Insecure purity.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg5SeiLn4wyKpTTVZp4v_kXf4nAtwWNZwM4EbHNi5WaPDWKI90vUuj9O2UL3VcrlP5jY1LpmqO3oWunPTybdbwRqJh3hMgtW7U0x9dKMMz8Lf6dlT3Y8jdSH9yLs1EjuvdrmoXmsn6GYg/s1600/otomo-10.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454169201263440354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 399px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg5SeiLn4wyKpTTVZp4v_kXf4nAtwWNZwM4EbHNi5WaPDWKI90vUuj9O2UL3VcrlP5jY1LpmqO3oWunPTybdbwRqJh3hMgtW7U0x9dKMMz8Lf6dlT3Y8jdSH9yLs1EjuvdrmoXmsn6GYg/s400/otomo-10.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /><div><br /></div>"So was it worth it then, lad? All that over one bird, I mean?" Dean coughed through a cloud of smoke, leaning forwards to fix me with his piercing eyes.</span></span><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Was an instant of your insecure purity worth a lifetime of her deceit and ignorance...?</span></span></span></i></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></span></div><br /><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Well was it?</span></span></span></i></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I though so at the time...Yeah, I guess I did.....Just really stressed me out, the whole gig was twisted, you know?" I muttered back, resignation and emotion heavy in my voice.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"it's just the...<i><b>disappointment</b></i> of the whole thing that gets me about it - I've had far uglier stuff happen with birds before.....She's an amateur in that respect, like...But The ignorance...Blanking me...Fuck man, it's a killer. She ain't 18, she's 28...We're both adults....I expected much more than that Dean, y'know?"</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">He sat upright, His posture stiff, his face suddenly hardening, his voice strangely shaky.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Yeah...I've been there, lad. Know exactly what you mean....Never easy is it? I had a terrible sketch with me ex - unbelievable, man. Really stabbed me through the heart....Drove me crackers, fell out with me family and most of me mates at the time...It was hell...."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">He thumped his fist down on the arm of the armchair, making the floor shudder with his force.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"But, it's like the old saying lad innit? What doesn't kill yer makes yer stronger..... God knows I learned that the hard way with her ....Never gonna commit to a bird now... Sick of getting tormented and played like a fool by 'em....But still..."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">This was interesting His demeanour and aura of confidence had slipped and he was now uncertain, vulnerable. I was caught in two minds whether to press him, or to drop it...</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">ASK THE QUESTION.</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">I'm getting bored now....</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Yeah? Go on..."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Dean grimaced for a moment, as though recalling some awful event from his past, his eyes screwing up and his lips wobbling. He seemed on the verge of tears. But then he took a deep breath, composed himself and fixed me with a stern look again.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"All..I'm sayin' is...They reckon women outnumber us three-to-one...So this is it: I reckon you drop this whole thing and move on, lad. Sure, she had you off and messed with your head, I ain't debating that. An' it's clear you really liked her an' all, I mean look at yerself... You've been miserable for a while abaar it, right? RIGHT?"</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was took back by his fierce, passionate response.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Dean had always seemed the most laid-back punter in the cubes...</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Y-Yeah..." I mumbled tamely in response.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He made a sweeping, expansive gesture with his right hand.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"See, after all this.......You'll get yer head together and start chasin' other birds...Birds that are WORTH it...Worth the effort, the dollars, the feelings, man....She seems evil to me, judgin' on what you're tellin' me....Honestly dunno why you bothered with her... And the family thing with her was <i>WAAAAY</i> too "out west", knowhadamsayin'?</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">At last someone talking sense for a change.</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Pay close attention, class...</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah...Yeah you're dead-on, Deano.......too right mate..." I nodded my head.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Just relax, lad you'll be alright....Maybe when me giro comes in we can go for a bevvy, hit town, get into some decent women likes....12 bells? Is that the time?"</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He sprang from his chair, and made to leave, halting as he reached the door, turning to face me.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Listen lad, gotta get off...I'm down at me uncles tomorrow, gonna get a lift at half seven...."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Sure, no problems Deano...Listen.....About tonight....Thanks, man I really appreciate it....A problem shared an' all that...."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Not a problem, lad...You ever wanna talk, I'm only down the hall...Just get yer head right, stop thinking so much...Get on it...You'll be sound..."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Right...Again, thanks...see you later..."</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Laters, lad"</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">And with that he had gone.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I brooded to myself for an uncertain length of time, despite Dean's exhortations to do otherwise.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Despite the late hour and the fact I had work that morning, I struggled to unwind and sleep.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I threw the stereo on, some ambient mix music was needed to accompany my racing thoughts.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I almost absent-mindedly started flicking through the pages of a graphic novel I had left on the table at the centre of the room, absorbing the beauty and intricacy of the art and the scale and ingenuity of the story-telling for what felt like the first time.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was no "Road-to-Damascus" moment by any means, but I had what one could loosely describe as a real "Epiphany" during that lost few hours, sitting there in my cube, red light glowing from the table-side lamp, me listening to music, scanning the panels of that graphic novel.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The fact that it wasn't in any significant place, time and that there was no-one present to relate it to made it perhaps much more of a self-affirming experience.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The endomorphins were surging through me - I was at ease, calm, serene almost.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">And from nowhere... The thought struck me:</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">In this state of mind, this atomosphere, taking pleasure from such simple things....</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Would this bird ever participate?</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Would she ever be comfortable with it?</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">And I could see, it was all open now, I understood how it worked.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Right down to all the flaws and imperfections, which previously I had been blindly ignorant of.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In essence, I finally saw how ridiculous I had been acting.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's wasn't Linda who was at fault - it was me.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Had she been in the same room at that time what would she, and by proxy myself, in all likelihood be doing?</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I laughed out aloud at the observation that followed, so much so that I wound up lying on the couch, book draped across my legs as clutched my my chest and wheezed with tired laughter.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">It would probably consist of you both enduring some shitty soap, followed by a soundtrack of cliched boy-band, R & B bollocks, coupled to uninspiring conversations....</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There would be nothing to challenge me, no common ground between us.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">All the personal interests and passions - the true individualities and quirks of character that I held - would be disregarded, ignored as casually as she had blanked my phone calls and text messages. What I regarded as high art and entertainment simply didn't exist to her. Whilst I would devour the works of Shirow, Otomo, Inoue and other great visionaries, she would have been stuck at the level of OK or Heat magazine.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I felt energised and entranced by this bust of languid introspection.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Put simply, it was a home truth delivered in a brutally honest yet eloquent and poetic way.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's a rare thing when your mind lowers it's guard and lets you see the bigger picture.</span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">That's right, kid........</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#ff0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Like you said once, I'm a gold-mine of good advice...</span></i></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That thought comforted me as I drifted off to sleep on the couch, hypnotic synth bass lines lulling my eyes shut.</span></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-37958949976833616082009-12-16T12:19:00.000-08:002009-12-19T13:38:09.131-08:00RED CARD. (Walk it off).<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCWUpKHwfxM8jxlMIsvHfxtf1tpbmsCkIp6TljV4qPW9mO1Lb5PJpOXHOoDdjwLKbvPX0axOT8S80CwgvAcTxLKdyDHvhAQ7mszES3uQI-wW00S71Kz7-65YhyfG_stUxDFqw9mzFJaXk/s1600-h/redcard.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCWUpKHwfxM8jxlMIsvHfxtf1tpbmsCkIp6TljV4qPW9mO1Lb5PJpOXHOoDdjwLKbvPX0axOT8S80CwgvAcTxLKdyDHvhAQ7mszES3uQI-wW00S71Kz7-65YhyfG_stUxDFqw9mzFJaXk/s400/redcard.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415931776148045810" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The door creaked open a fraction with a whining </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">un</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">-oiled squeal, a tiny pink female set of fingers pulling it open. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A shaft of dying winter light cut through the gloom of the corridor, slowly revealing....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Linda.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She wore a pristine white dressing gown, her feet bare, shivering slightly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She looked pure, untouched.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her hair, obviously just washed, gleamed supernaturally in the muted winter sun, which flew down rapidly behind the ceramic rooves of the terraced houses around us.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Our eyes met.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She fired me a nervous, wobbling smile. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A pretty vague look.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Almost looking through me rather than at me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her voice was unsteady as she spoke.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"...Oh...He-hello...Didn't expect you to to be calling here....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She crept around the door, pulling it almost closed behind her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She's obviously being listened to closely.... </span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">By someone really alert behind that door...</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Most likely her mother....</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Yeah...</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">y'know......</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> I was kinda worried </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">about'cha</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">....Not answering my calls and that...Just...Wanted to know if you were Okay.."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I brought up the flowers and offered them to her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I should be working at the match this afternoon...But I wanted to see you </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Real</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> bad....First time for everything, right? Putting a female before football....Guess my priorities have changed..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She made no attempt to accept my offering. She simply stood at the door, arms folded. Her eyes flickered about as she squirmed uncomfortably, a weak forced smile slowly fading on her lips. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She eventually locked her gaze on the path behind me, her voice sounding </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">eerily</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> flat and emotionless. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The intimation was clear that I should have been walking away, back down that </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">stretch</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> of uneven concrete slabs, there and then.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I can't really speak to you right now.....It's not the right moment for this.."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She was cold. Her posture was all off. Arms folded tightly, expression remote. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Those hypnotic eyes that had originally hooked me, were flitting about again like humming-birds over a nectar-rich flower.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I slowly, with an attempt to act as cool as possible, slumped against the door-frame, an invisible attempt to draw myself closer to her body. The flowers in my right hand felt heavy, dead and lame all of a sudden.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"If it's...a problem...Me calling here outta the blue, I mean...Like this....I can understand, Linda. Just...say, if it is...and I'll bail out...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Y'knowhaddamsayin'??"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">For a split second, it appeared like I'd hit a raw nerve. She bit her upper lip, shifting where she stood. I wanted to keep the momentum rolling, however foolish it came across. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Something inside me pushed the dial towards "Super-charged", "animated and alive". </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">FULL-ON.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">My speech felt lucid, flowing like poetry. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Not as if it was a cheaply constructed script.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"See...I can acknowledge the mistakes I made when it comes to you, baby. The other night drove home to me HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. TRULY. And I ain't just talkin' about the physical aspect...You are so much FUN to hang around with......More than any girl I've ever been with.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And I WANT YOU...I WANT to feel that joy again....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Just to make you smile is a buzz, honestly. Like no other.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I reached out to take her hand in my own. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She didn't pull it away, yet didn't squeeze it like I squeezed hers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"And it gets better...I'm older now. More mature, focused. I Got a decent job on the go and my own place now....Plus, all my family are back together....Only thing missing is a straight-up female....And I think if we could just -"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"SSSHHHHH".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She released my right hand and placed two fingers softly over my babbling lips.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her face was all of a sudden, resolute. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">DETERMINED.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I'm sorry Fred...But I don't wanna relationship with you.....I can't tell you any other way........"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I....I don't really know what to say............ To that...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I know.....I'm Sorry ....but that's how it is, babe....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-58641684021522663782009-12-12T11:28:00.000-08:002009-12-14T12:52:59.342-08:00Just front it.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrfjn03d1h_9OrU6C1mosLD9EEtBHs_wkKClV8WGLVnusBDlbkIvborS3M2T81yd-W3IYvUnZp6UyCPkcjHssTrntLvvC2S4bwcrg_3bM0pSLFZRIwUXxd5ForYHBqiX5TriUMUbux6E/s1600-h/IMG_2307.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrfjn03d1h_9OrU6C1mosLD9EEtBHs_wkKClV8WGLVnusBDlbkIvborS3M2T81yd-W3IYvUnZp6UyCPkcjHssTrntLvvC2S4bwcrg_3bM0pSLFZRIwUXxd5ForYHBqiX5TriUMUbux6E/s400/IMG_2307.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5414870597915515010" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It's</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> strange, isn't it? </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The effect a girl who you really dig has on the male mind, I mean.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">You'll willingly go through any hardship, all manner of personal shit, mental and physical, just to please her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Go down on hands and knees on vicious broken glass, use her shit for toothpaste...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">You name it, if you, like myself, have an obsessive nature, you're there. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">No problems, no questions asked.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If it pays off, you feel like you've won the World Cup, Mr Universe, Wimbeldon and an Oscar combined.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If it don't, you feel like a rusty wreck on the scrap-heap, with all the empty, better designed yet ultimately soul-less slick vessels passing you, mocking you, all your failures and faults, when all your endeavours and energy have gone in the wrong direction. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Wasted journeys to meaningless destinations.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Jumping on that bus to Bootle, was an experience in itself.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Didn't mind the driver smirking </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">at me when I passed him the £1.70 fare. I was on a mission, and didn't have time to step aside and analyse my behaviour. A couple of old dears near the front of the bus looked at me with misty eyes, spotting the flowers and whispering to each other, their voices covered by the rumbling diesel engine.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was almost proud of the fact I was heading into unknown territory, with no real plan of action.</span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sometimes</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, I reasoned, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">you have to wing it and be impulsive. </span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Heroes and winners take chances. </span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Losers sit alone at home and rue their lack of ambition.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I had no script in my head of what I was going to say to her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But then again... that's what makes it exciting, isn't it?</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sure is.....</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The bus zipped through the city, Sunday hangovers helping the journey no end, and the traffic lights pleasingly accommodating.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Before I knew it, I had jumped off at Bootle bus station, the Triad tower and the Strand shopping centre looming around me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I made my way out of the complex and headed up-hill, towards Vaux Crescent. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It was a brisk 20-minute walk and I was mindful of the awful fine rain spitting down on me, the type that caught you off-guard - one minute you thought it wasn't that bad but the next you were absolutely drenched and sneezing.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I arranged myself and my clothing, took a deep breath and steeled up as I reached the front door - it took me a moment to remember which house it was - It had been a long time.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I knocked lightly three times on the letter-box.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Almost immediately, a dog started barking and scratching wildly, making me jump up back in shock as it threw itself against the other side of the door. At that moment I remember thinking of those cliched old stickers that you would see in the grimy front windows of terraced houses with the cheap, ugly type-faces - usually a grainy photo of a slavering Rottweiler or pit-bull, above the slogan "I LIVE HERE". </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Although meant to be a deterrent to potential burglars, I always thought it actually meant: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"POOR WHITE TRASH".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I waited there for perhaps a minute, although it felt much longer with the soundtrack of the animal hurling itself against the entry-point, the door-frame rattling. I thought about leaving the flowers on the step - then went against it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She'd have known who they were from, surely - yet I wouldn't have been able to tell her exactly what was the sketch was. Maybe knock back later? It WAS a Sunday, after all....Maybe she was out? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I turned away from the door and started back down the front path, when I heard the hinges creak open and a stern female voice call out.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"YEAH?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I turned back to see Linda's mother standing in the doorway. It was half-open as she gripped the handle with one hand, and the collar of the dog, which was only a small colly terrier. The dog frantically struggled to break free, it's claws clattering and slipping on the front step as it grunted, snorted and whined in protest.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Unconsciously I hid the flowers behind my back.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Linda's mother eyed me up and down with unrestrained suspicion</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I had to collect my thoughts for a second before I replied. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She didn't seem to recognise me, which would make things a lot more awkward from here on in.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Erm....Is your Linda there...Please?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Yes"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She shot me a quizzical look. I was dumbstruck for a moment. I didn't expect one-word answers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Did she mean "Yes, she's here" or was she simply repeating the original "Yes?" question?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"So who is it??"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Right. Now we're making some progress. Not liking the piece-of-shit attitude on display here though, mind....</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"It's....Fred" I replied shakily.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"WHO??" She barked her face screwing up, head tilted to one side towards me. Maybe my sense of body language was messed up, but generally when people act as such and make you repeat yourself, it's because hey want to soften you up before they deliver snotty one-liner to which you cannot retort. I smiled back through gritted teeth.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"FRED".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">There was a flash of sudden recognition in her eyes and then her glare hardened, her stance going stiff. I'd no doubt been bad mouthed for years under her roof, called all the cunts under the sun. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Not that it bothered me of course. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It was for others to lose sleep about me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"And what D'YOU wanna see her for?" She snapped, the dog still in her grip, gasping for air as it strained against it's collar.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I looked down to the floor for a moment and then lifted my head back up, a wistful smile on my face coupled with languid, dilated eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was sorely tempted to to unleash my barbed tongue on her in a savage response to her bullish, childish and patronising attitude. I knew I could have her in tears within a minute, given the opportunity. I could crucify her and her daughter purely through the power of speech. I could expose her behaviour and draw parralels from her upbringing - put her mother on a real guilt-trip.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Having half-anticipated such a negative response, I had memorised a spiel that I could hit her with.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Well, actually I'm here on account of your daughter ignoring my phone calls and text messages. Which is strange actually, because just hours ago she was ready to have my kids. </span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Yeah, really. She was all over me. This was after she was provided (from an unknown source) with a big bag of beak, which she consumed like a pro over the course of the other night.</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Now as someone who perhaps in a naive and misguided sense, cares about and feels affection for Linda, I feel I should inform you, her mother, of the situation. If you were to ask her about it I'm certain she would tell you all about it. Really, go ahead.</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I SAY AGAIN. WHAT DYER WANNA SEE LINDA FOR??"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I snapped back to the present,shaking my head as I focussed on the moment.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">No. Show a bit of dignity and self-control. To lose it is to play straight into their hands....</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"It's just....I'd very much like to speak to her right now, if at all possible".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">That's it. Play it polite. Best way to handle it.</span></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">There was a long uncomfortable silence.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The mother regarded me with a dark, lingering look that suggested she had just scraped me from the sole of her shoe. For the first time, I felt a </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">REAL</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> sense of self-satisfaction that I had slept with this woman's daughter.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"A MINUTE". She slammed the door shut, dragging the dog back inside with her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Out of the corner of my eye, I spied one of the curtains in the window directly above the front door flicker for a moment.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I brought the flowers up from behind my back. Quite why I was hiding them, I didn't know. I composed myself, adjusted my sweater and took a few moments to reflect.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I could actually understand why her mother had been so ratty with me. I remembered the story of how Linda's father who had three children - had suddenly came out as gay and split after maybe 20+ years of marriage. That's pretty lame in my book. You would have thought he would have at least fucking mentioned it before having three kids with her, likes. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A rough hand to be dealt with, no doubt. I supposed that in her shoes, I probably would have been rabidly anti-men as well, after such shocking treatment. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Then again, what was she like during the marriage? Did she drive him towards such action? Who was to know? The mind boggled, totally.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I felt a light touch of rain on my head and looked up to the skies. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Bootle isn't one of the most picturesque areas within Merseyside, but under black skies it's downright ugly, man....</span></span></div><div><br /></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-3425183655126932182009-12-07T15:13:00.000-08:002009-12-10T10:44:14.114-08:00One man in a million.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIJml-5UYvenwrrTgLVdvroJZqki80JETwneRr791toU08KqlJSRk_jip6ty_lofE39SvJvL6AXHhunK-4H-VS22aY3rdYjq1T9xGtrFAnRc185dTIka9u5Qh9U8-yUeDwjkRQ532_Vs0/s1600-h/st-georges-hall_tcm81-114273-450x289.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIJml-5UYvenwrrTgLVdvroJZqki80JETwneRr791toU08KqlJSRk_jip6ty_lofE39SvJvL6AXHhunK-4H-VS22aY3rdYjq1T9xGtrFAnRc185dTIka9u5Qh9U8-yUeDwjkRQ532_Vs0/s400/st-georges-hall_tcm81-114273-450x289.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5412993339461933906" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">S</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">ometimes</span></span></i>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">in order to prise truth from others, it is necessary to get square into their faces and demand it, full-on, with no compromises, no room left for them to wriggle out of the question. </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's all about the setting, the atmosphere, the issue at hand and the people involved in it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sometimes harsh, intense and confrontational, with screaming and shouting. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">On other occasions with craft, tact and an under-hand use of head tricks and psychological suggestion. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This was a strange situation.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There was no underlying motive on my part other than a desire for some reality and honesty from Linda. However I felt about her personally, in terms of affection, emotion, lust, whatever - there was a primal in-built need for her to level up and give me the full script about her behaviour towards me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">As I marched into the city centre, grimy rusted shutters were gradually being pulled down before shop windows, as the clocks slowly swept towards 5:00pm. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I headed down a damp, traffic-rammed London Road, past the dilapidated pubs with leery, grubby young types in hideous track-suits and the older, red-faced men in tatty tweed jackets smoking outside the uninviting doorways. I stared straight ahead, feeling a sea of suspicious eyes beading my every step, reaching the end of the road and taking a sharp left by the Empire Theatre towards St John's shopping centre.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">After a brief mental wrestling match played out in my skull, I opted for the stealth route. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No rants or hysterics would be on the menu, despite a seething, bubbling drive under the skin, urging me on to resort to such soap-opera bull-shit.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This would handled in an adult manner on my part.... I decreed as I broke into a sprint and dashed across the four lanes of honking buses and tooting cars that thundered left and right in front of St George's Hall, the ominous old building grey and imposing with the darkening skies behind it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I made across the front plateau at the forecourt of the building, past the war memorial and the towering lions and statues of long-dead heroes that surrounded it, dodging grotty expanding puddles of rain that had sprouted up amongst the slippery cobblestones. I'd only just pulled on the new footwear, and was wary of getting it destroyed mere minutes after christening it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I cleared the Hall and bounded down the steps at the side of it, past the huge illuminated video screen that flashed up advert after advert mutely. Straight across four lanes of roaring buses to the relative safety of the traffic lights. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Then around past the Penny Farthing - a pub I'd never set foot in and swore I never would. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A boozer that had somehow survived countless recessions that had plagued the city, yet had never had a face lift or a switch in the demographic of it's lowlife clientele.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was all set for making towards the bus stop for </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bootle</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, when I found myself jangling the loose change in my right jeans pocket and heading straight for the tiny flower stall at the side of the bus station, which looked as though it was shutting up shop for the day.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Why flowers? Only one man in a </span></span></i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">MILLION</span></span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> looks right with flowers. Given the unknown scenario you are about to bounce into, flowers seem like a stupid, empty gesture. You only buy flowers for a female when you've fucked up in the worst sense and want to atone. Valentines and birthdays don't count. It's a given on those days....</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"How much for the red one's, luv?" I heard myself ask the buck-toothed, hunch-backed middle aged woman behind the stall with the curly dark hair and the hang-dog eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She eyed me up curiously for a moment.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Two pounds a bunch at dis hour, like...What's </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">de</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> occasion, lad?" she grinned, her prematurely aged face freakishly accentuated in the dying light, neon shop-lights and fine misty rain.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The result of too many John Player Specials and </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Skol</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Supers in her youth no doubt...</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Won't you fuck off out of my head? I don't need your advice right now!</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I tried to blank out the inner demon, however much he taunted me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He had a point, though.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">what</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> was it for?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Er...Just for me girl-friend..Well, kind of...Yeah..I mean, No...Well... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I dunno..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Shit...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">(Take a breath..)</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Just...to say Hello...Catch up..</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Knowhaddamean</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">?" I stuttered, suddenly aware of the flux of people walking past behind me, mainly females, taking a moment to nose at a man buying flowers. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A rare event, in their eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"So who's the lucky girl, den, lad?" She grinned with her yellow crooked teeth, as she passed me a wrapped bunch of roses. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">They looked sweet, almost edible. How she had managed to wrap them so expertly and in a professional manner so quickly was beyond me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was worth 4 dollars.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What a saleswoman.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I didn't have to stop to think about that question, as I passed her £4 and jogged towards the Bus-stop, turning my face back to reply as I spied the number 53 roll into stop 2.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"It's..just </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">forra</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> girl I need some answers from, luv..."</span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-4884205124355773082009-12-01T11:00:00.000-08:002009-12-01T14:38:58.190-08:00Fresh out of the box.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUdVJ42TQNOdcEv-AhzpYHNJWUoDwhCvVnH7ESEgMYe8E69W4ZUc1h10Mzo_-HKJHuLHpgsTO0IqmgzCwipwL9dc8e7PuWXiteccj0070__DwdYNMCdSbvkg8Ub-UJt8I3l3o-UzG3lvM/s1600/5452_0.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 270px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUdVJ42TQNOdcEv-AhzpYHNJWUoDwhCvVnH7ESEgMYe8E69W4ZUc1h10Mzo_-HKJHuLHpgsTO0IqmgzCwipwL9dc8e7PuWXiteccj0070__DwdYNMCdSbvkg8Ub-UJt8I3l3o-UzG3lvM/s400/5452_0.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5410367389620793682" /></a><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">S</span></span>o what next? </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">After a frantic scorched-earth cleaning policy in the cube, until it smelt and looked decent again, I had lashed the stinking clothes I had been wearing into the laundry basket and decided to finally part ways with my Reebok's...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">They had given me a long, hardy service way beyond the time-span they were originally designed for. They had seen many memorable escapades and been walked, ran, danced in and kicked off by the heels in countless places. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">For something made for an absolutely <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">minuscule</span></i></span> amount of money, on a production line manned by shockingly under-paid, over-worked and under-aged slaves in some face-less Indonesian sweat-house before I eventually took them out of a box, tried them on and parted around 600% of their face value in a jazzy liverpool city-centre sportswear emporium for...they had been trusty, comfy and dependable training shoes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But they were coming apart at the seams, smelled like hell and had served their last shift. I launched them into the bin unceremoniously. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">There was a beautiful pair of Vintage Adidas ZX, smooth royal blue numbers with an understated yet timeless look to them, still nestling unworn in the shoe-box on top of my wardrobe. Weather and compatible ironed clothing availability permitting, they would be broken in tonight, I determined.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I stood under the shower for maybe 30 minutes, feeling the toxins slowly, stubbornly oozing away through my pores. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I had a precision shave, studied and controlled. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It being a free weekend, I didn't have the enemy of time and getting ready to contend with work. So I could afford to take my time and be </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">at one with the razor - zen style</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, rather than tearing up my face with it like normal.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">There was a satisfyingly large amount of gloopy stubble in the sink when I had finished. I rinsed it out, broke out a fresh unused toothbrush and roughly scrubbed my fangs until they sparkled.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was still shaking the water loose from the holes in my head as I pulled on a low- key blue sweater and a pair of light grey Armani jeans I had been saving for a drinking excursion. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The new footwear was tight, but not uncomfortable. They looked pleasingly sleek prowling beneath the new denims, and squeaked with the cries of box-fresh new soles on the fake wooden surfaces.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I grasped for my mobile. <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;">4:00pm</span></i>. Not a bad effort considering the workload involved and the attention to detail required.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I dialled Linda's number.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Five rings.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Voicemail.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial, serif;font-size:medium;">Unsurprisingly.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I debated whether to call again, or text message her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No......</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This called for something direct, in the face. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I reached for my jacket, pocketed my keys and phone and headed out towards the city below, clouded in hazy rain and a dying ember sun.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The now too familiar voice whispered to me again.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Just front it.......</span></b></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-21124773336241014982009-09-17T02:07:00.001-07:002009-11-20T12:08:51.159-08:00Roll the dice.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFfLdqlpOqQuR_DlLlElwGEQv7bFLrum5ib89OtT30xJUTYexSCFRUYukimptNd6CCSZCmp8pZdPkHxU_ZoWN-DOHjaQaFXUUrjADkuNUFnVcMjJ3ewgZ09ctSBlHQV6_KCsZRwahoexw/s1600/rolling_dice_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFfLdqlpOqQuR_DlLlElwGEQv7bFLrum5ib89OtT30xJUTYexSCFRUYukimptNd6CCSZCmp8pZdPkHxU_ZoWN-DOHjaQaFXUUrjADkuNUFnVcMjJ3ewgZ09ctSBlHQV6_KCsZRwahoexw/s400/rolling_dice_.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406239303276460786" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It took a good few hours to recollect the events of the night before. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">My body switched to tidy-up mode, and I practically flew around my cube in a numb worker-drone state of mind, restoring it to some semblance of order and sanity. My brain was inert, on auto-pilot. No sentimentality or introspection was permitted, only basic functions and sensible behaviour. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I pulled on a grubby old sports sweater, a pair of worn-to-destruction Reebok Classics and an ancient no-name creased set of jeans covered in paint, ink and god knew-what-else. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Flashbacks were strictly off-limits until I had tidied the flat up, lashing a bulging bin-liner full of leaking half-empty booze cans and wine bottles outside into the purple-plastic wheelie-bin on the street. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Then a thorough brush and mop of the fake wooden floors. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Prison inmates on remand would have been in awe of my feverish cleanliness. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Makeshift ashtrays were emptied, windows were thrown open. A shot of sickly air-freshener in each room, hell on the nose and lungs. A cursory blast in the kitchen, a few loose glasses in the sink that I didn't recognise washed, dried and polished until they sparkled like newly-forged crystals.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">OCD to the max.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The bathroom was fairly decent..until I went to check my reflection and realised the mirror had vanished, a rusty nail stuck into the cheap plaster where it had once hung. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I scoped around....there it was. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sitting square on the living room floor, still bearing the powdered scars from the night before. My reservations about drug abuse and how it messed up people suddenly hit me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Then the machine in me said: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">PICK IT UP.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">WASH IT, AND HANG IT UP.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Job done, no questions asked.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It took maybe two hours, exerting myself with a frantic energy that left me lying on the couch sweating and gasping for a ciggie. Then, and only then, the barriers in my head rolled down and I could think again.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">RIGHT.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Where were we again?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">OK yeah....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Last night....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I took a long, hard drag of a smoke, lying on my beat-up leather couch whilst my memory kicked in. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The chemicals felt ugly, diseased, harsh on the throat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But they were hard-earned.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Like the crow's nest crew-member on the tower of the Titanic, I saw the truth in front of my face...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.....too late.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">YOU SAID YOU WOULD MEET HER TODAY. 8.00pm. PHONE CALL AT 6:30pm.</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i>Glad you mentioned that. I knew something was missing, demon.</i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">OK, yeah. But what else? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">How did I get here?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We had sat there when Hayley and Ste had bailed, flush on the living room floor. My right hand intwined into her left, a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A couple of "Remember that time when..." conversations.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A lot of "I'm sorry for when I...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Did this, did that whatever and whatever you didn't do.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nervous pauses, drunken kisses that meant nothing, really. But when you thought back, that intimacy was worth waiting for on such a crazy night.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A bed shared.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nothing sexual, mind. We were both too skulled to do anything physical. Just the warmth of soft smooth female arms and legs clasped around your wasted form was enough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And then.. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She left.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">No goodbye, no goodnight kiss. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nothing. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nada. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, serif; font-size: medium; ">Nicht.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, serif; font-size: medium; ">A solitary text message.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">CALL ME 2</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">MORRA</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> BABE. I MISS U SO MUCH 2.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">THAT'S ALL YOU GET.</span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I glanced at my watch, amazingly still intact and working.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;"><i>15:00. SAT.</i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I recall laughing at that moment to myself and thinking:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"It's only 3:00pm. You can shave, shower, brush your teeth and preen yourself in that time-gap"....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">That's right, my boy. But what you have to ask yourself is: </span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Do you really wanna get into this female? </span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Is she worth it? </span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Just roll the dice, boy...see what numbers come up...."</span></i></span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-63651061106028736222009-09-17T02:06:00.000-07:002009-11-03T13:09:21.966-08:00Get your head TOGETHER.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2ef_sIKZnkXB7rBMkjXxL_TWg5AGv8MDbwtrT83PC0sS58gJ7J_MURnBShHpRIpNI2HDvMvb-nfWOrLXfSLcmWnNuo-iP1zNF7AltXOK19301KEoHGe3NMTGGYLeOcoeKEG5MDM40EM/s1600-h/beercans-706565.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV2ef_sIKZnkXB7rBMkjXxL_TWg5AGv8MDbwtrT83PC0sS58gJ7J_MURnBShHpRIpNI2HDvMvb-nfWOrLXfSLcmWnNuo-iP1zNF7AltXOK19301KEoHGe3NMTGGYLeOcoeKEG5MDM40EM/s400/beercans-706565.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399986512127168962" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><i><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><i>6:45am</i></span></span>, </span></div></i></span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">T<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">he alarm on my mobile blared. I groaned as I reached down to the side of the bed and roughly slid the handset open then closed, de-activating the shrill ring-tone.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I lay there like a beached whale for a while, breathing heavy and wheezy, head spinning queasily. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The nicotine and booze still held a nasty grip of me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">Then it hit me - I had stuff do do. </span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i>What, you again? You still here, little demon??</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Despite the shooting pains down my neck, spine and legs, I dragged myself sideways out of the bed. My hair was sticking up all over the place, I must have looked like Don King after an electric shock. I simultaneously coughed and sneezed, doubling up as my confused and beat-up body protested against being made to start up so early. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, squinting blindly like a mole poking it's face out of drainage pipe.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i>What had happened?</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I shuddered as a slow, hazy recollection became gradually clear in my third unseen mind's eye.... The one set dead centre of my forehead.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">At first, it was just stark monochrome black and white images flashing through my memory bank......</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The odd snippet of a drunken conversation which at moments crossed the border between madness and genius. Totally random subject matter, some topical, some insane and obscure. I found myself laughing out loud at some parts of it, cringing at others. Yet still quietly reciting out loud to myself what I could recall.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A sloppy, un-coordinated kiss here...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A lusty grope of flesh there. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Small-talk, the usual nonsense.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A drink - possibly red wine, couldn't be certain - sent tumbling in agonisingly slow-motion across the fake wooden living-room floor, to sniggers of embarrassed laughter. An old tea-towel appearing in my right hand to try and lamely soak up the resultant mess.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Ash and dead ciggy stumps strewn about, like my flat was the dance surface of an illegal night-club.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A TV set left on at low-volume, nobody paying it any attention but everyone seemingly feeling more comfortable that it provided light and sound, to act as a canvas for our drunken conversations. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i>Suddenly, the Little demon on my shoulder smacked me on the head and forcibly pulled my eyelids open.</i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i>Ah yes...that was it.</i></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Hayley and Ste had got off around 4:00am, I reckoned. They were well and truly out of their boxes by that time.....And I had Linda to myself for maybe 2 hours....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i>What else?</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">A moment....It's hard for me too y'know boy......</span></i></span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-62719332216726513962009-09-17T02:05:00.000-07:002009-10-08T12:40:48.203-07:00Shoulda seen it coming.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDXSTvBNaNcUGx00ZoIGdgXDEdwb8HyCwyAc_QcUDKlZRvQPvOnuVwk-87LONsoNcXyGlDULwAVSzX7Bb8JHw91ZAzNgfqBir1vJ6JBpZnU4DNOl_Bbn4JG3hSA9YJtNghi5qaALQxLtk/s1600-h/cocaine-addiction.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDXSTvBNaNcUGx00ZoIGdgXDEdwb8HyCwyAc_QcUDKlZRvQPvOnuVwk-87LONsoNcXyGlDULwAVSzX7Bb8JHw91ZAzNgfqBir1vJ6JBpZnU4DNOl_Bbn4JG3hSA9YJtNghi5qaALQxLtk/s400/cocaine-addiction.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390315133840932658" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></span></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">t's</span></span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> a strange beast, shock. Like a patient mugger hovering over your shoulder, it has an evil habit of striking you over the head and spearing you right through the fucking heart, just when you feel serene and easy. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It's the horrible rush of blood to the head and the sensation of feeling your own pulse racing though your veins for what feels like the first time in your life, that drags you back blindly into reality. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The only other time you got that feeling were when you get involved in a fight or had a near-miss on a busy road...that awful dry feeling in your mouth and a shudder down your spine.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I used to believe nothing could faze me anymore, I felt steeled to anything, and after a lifetime of watching television and films, felt there was nothing visually I couldn't handle.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That all changed with a screeching change of gears when I stepped back into my living room, bottle of red wine and four glasses on a slippy, ready-to-tip-at-any-moment tray.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">In a triangle sat Linda, Ste and Hayley, the couple from hell perched on the edge of the couch, Linda virtually on her knees in front of them. I recognised the small rectangular mirror from the bathroom teetering precariously on the knees of Ste, as Linda leaned forward and took a line of powder through a rolled up £20 note with ferocious appetite. She leaned her head back, squinting, throwing her hair away from her face, savoring the hit for a second. I saw that the mascara around her eyes was smudged as she laughed out loud to herself and rubbed her right hand roughly against the bottom of her nose, her eyes still shut.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ste looked up and offered the mirror towards me shakily.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"'Y' 'avin some?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Nah.....I'm...not into it.." I responded, my voice sounding far away and distorted, and disturbingly not just through the alcohol. It was like I was not really standing there, as if I was looking upon myself from the top corner of the room.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lisa rubbed her eyes and nose and smiled deviously at me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Sit down...here, by me.." She said as she shifted across the floor to the other side of the room, and sat with her back pressed to the side of the armchair.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I was compelled by an unknown force, a hidden hand pushing me towards her. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was with a mixture of silent shame, drunken exasperation and overriding lust that I sat next to her as she scanned me up and down, a glint of mischief in her piercing gaze...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-220836167122963112009-09-11T11:24:00.001-07:002009-09-11T11:27:40.112-07:00My place.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMGd-IeZIMCJdOTXwlHkmOzmh9tQvZ28Al8vUl6dK2FWGPH8tGRGVhSp1OMyFekDW4gZqPDCjL59aD8tiHnZFPKBri8fW9UwSc7b3loCRmj9WgDph7AUHeCLMjR7bkf3dk6GdReGYT8U/s1600-h/my+place.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMGd-IeZIMCJdOTXwlHkmOzmh9tQvZ28Al8vUl6dK2FWGPH8tGRGVhSp1OMyFekDW4gZqPDCjL59aD8tiHnZFPKBri8fW9UwSc7b3loCRmj9WgDph7AUHeCLMjR7bkf3dk6GdReGYT8U/s400/my+place.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380277803345489090" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Careful...Watch that step there.,... Apologies, some tight-arse neighbour in the block keeps stealing the light-bulb from this corridor and you can't see a thing" I said as led Linda towards the door of my cube, closely followed by a pissed-up, mumbling Ste and a cackling Hayley.</span></div></span><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We had left the Rubber Soul bar, and then stopped off in a taxi on London Road to stock up on booze and ciggies from the seedy 24-hour store, before finally landing back at the cubes.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had to bite my tongue when Linda had insisted that her friends come along - I didn't want to have to put up with them in a packed bar, let alone in my own home. I thought they would have their own place to go to, but obviously not.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I sheepishly unlocked the door and ushered them inside.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color:red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Still, if it means you can get into Linda then so be it...</span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Why of course, little demon.</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Ooohh... It's a tidy little place, innit Hayl?" Said Linda, seemingly genuinely impressed with the living room as she scanned around it, inspecting the walls, floors, general decor and furniture in that way only females seem to do.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">True, I had maintained the place and kept it tidy remarkably well, which was rare for me.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There were usually books, magazines, comics, manga serials, dvd's, clothes and the likes strewn all over the place. Although the black coffee table in the centre of the living room was it's usual busy self.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had snapped to reality, general cleanliness and basic common decency in a fit of energetic boredom a couple of days earlier and sorted the place out completely.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Perhaps a bit of foresight?</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nonsense, my boy. "An Englishman's home is his castle". You should take more pride in your lair.</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Too right, little demon. You are a gold-mine of sensible advice, alright.</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It certainly did look different, almost cozy again.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At least to my own eyes.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...It's alright like..." sniffed Hayley, as she and Ste simultaneously slumped on the couch.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I realised with disdain that they had swooped on the only seating that allowed space for two people, which left only the small leather armchair.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That meant I had no real forum, no rock on the idealistic beach - to sit next to Linda and get a grip of her....after a further heart-to-heart, of course...<br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color:red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Patience... You ain't gonna be sitting in here all night...</span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">True...</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Say, I'll put that ale in the freezer, eh?" I said, pointing at the cheap carrier bags on the floor crammed with cans of lager and wine. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...Yeah... Good shout, that, lad..." drawled Ste, sinking back into the couch, the booze taking grip of him as Halyey snuggled her face up into his chest. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the sight of Linda rising from her seat, as I enthusiastically took the bags in both hands and barged into the kitchen, kicking the door open.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I messily placed the alcohol in the freezer, shuddering slightly as I unexpectedly felt two arms slide around my waist and Linda's voice behind me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"See the problem with you is that you were always </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">sooo</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">...Stubborn..." She whispered, as I stood straight with my back still to her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Nah....I'd say it was simply being an original myself, like.." I replied.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"You're an individual, that's for sure....Never met anyone as nuts as you, really" she laughed as I turned to face her, a bottle of red wine in my right hand.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah, so I've been told...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There was the slightest pause as we gazed at each other, then..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I kissed her full on the lips, stroking her hair with my free left hand as she pressed herself against me, leaning against the still-open freezer.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I placed the bottle down behind me and let my digits wander.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She was open, responsive...aggressive, almost. The lurking, primal expectancy I had held onto all night since running into her hours before was now a very real moment.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Told you, didn't I? Patience, Patience.....</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">"</span><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">LINDDAAA</span></b></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">!"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> came the unholy shriek from the living room, shocking her into pulling away from me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She shot out of the kitchen and ran away from me like a disobedient child.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"For fuck's sake..." I muttered, not even bothering to lower my voice.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I actually </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">wanted</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> her to hear that. I'd had just about enough of these tag-ons and they'd only just stepped into the place.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I continued sorting the freezer out, stocking it up with booze, scowling to myself as I heard a muffled conversation in the living room next door.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If I was going to nail her, it would have to be the hard way.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Never an easy thing when there's an annoying outside influence on the scene....</span></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Yeah, too right</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, I almost spoke out loud, digging some wine glasses out of the wall cupboard unit, before I headed back into face them.....</span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-91503301483808158112009-09-01T12:10:00.000-07:002009-09-01T12:17:45.644-07:00Coming briefly up for air.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJMPHIMLUbTLGsn3eZNJ5T1w0JZ0UkSlrOVL0GIt750B7VZ3PT1lK_x4bXR0nsP7gwgiAtx7f4_moDzmWb00gz2lJnzzmlrbH11Zo9k34lMFXhVrvcGA-HTvmgzmsQqs6UuNYkGamDcY/s1600-h/cigarette_and_ashtray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeJMPHIMLUbTLGsn3eZNJ5T1w0JZ0UkSlrOVL0GIt750B7VZ3PT1lK_x4bXR0nsP7gwgiAtx7f4_moDzmWb00gz2lJnzzmlrbH11Zo9k34lMFXhVrvcGA-HTvmgzmsQqs6UuNYkGamDcY/s320/cigarette_and_ashtray.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Shuurrup</span> lad...So you finally <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">gettin</span>' to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">interestin</span>' bit of this story? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Gettin</span>' into this scatty bird I mean?" Dean smirked, leaning forwards, offering me a smoke.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I snapped to attention abruptly in my armchair, out of what felt like hibernation. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It felt like waking up from a dream, yet here I still was, awake and in the flesh.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I glanced at the clock on the living room wall - 10.00pm. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Christ, had I been talking for nearly two hours? </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It didn't feel like that long.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Still, Dean wanted to hear the end of this particular tale and seemed attentive and appreciative enough of what I had been "going into one" about. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was refreshing to have someone else to rant to, rather than a blank sheet of cheap lined A4 paper. I took the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ciggie</span> from his outstretched hand and sparked it up, relishing the nicotine hit as it raced through me. Then that horribly disorientating dizzy, swaying feeling struck me swiftly, the kind you only get when you've just had your "first smoke of the day".</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Cheers, mate" I hacked through a cloud of evil-looking yellow chemicals.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"So, go '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ead</span> lad....You were just about to nail this bird then?" Dean said, his eyes slowly expanding in that strange, rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights-of an-on-rushing-truck way as he shuffled back in his seat. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You could weave a thousand stories into that face, it was so alive and unsettling.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was facial expressions like that, that masters like Goya, Dali, Picasso and the likes would have killed each other over in a fight in the studio, to grab the oils and brushes and capture it on canvas first.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">How could I not indulge him?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Sorry yeah, I kinda lost track there again for a minute..... Apologies...Back to the story, Dean..."</span></span>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-6866462961783596492009-08-25T13:53:00.000-07:002009-08-31T09:26:31.283-07:00Head to head.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUjQOhC0bLpdNwyHbFN8_OLATo_Fs1OjgcXUuDNkkT_6RJBQlg3HnOKI9E5JDtce3nL24konvobaGJmuuN66b35Mk_-XlHFJv5ChpnQArwO0VnMo7o45C4ppWs0prqqSOTf05Aw9kqrM/s1600-h/bubbles.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUjQOhC0bLpdNwyHbFN8_OLATo_Fs1OjgcXUuDNkkT_6RJBQlg3HnOKI9E5JDtce3nL24konvobaGJmuuN66b35Mk_-XlHFJv5ChpnQArwO0VnMo7o45C4ppWs0prqqSOTf05Aw9kqrM/s400/bubbles.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376164728477552962" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">For the first time, I had Linda to myself, as Hayley kissed the face off Ste, leaning and writhing all over the bar like some cheap straight-to-video "erotic thriller". The staff and customers didn't bat an eyelid, they were seasoned to such behaviour.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Indeed, many people in the place seemed to have coupled up, as the banging music, cheap alcohol and general feel-good atmosphere got under skins and lowered inhibitions. It didn't matter that the music was mostly middle-of-the-road bile - The volume and familiarity was too overpowering to resist.</span></span><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I found myself dancing - well - shuffling-lamely-foot-to-foot - would be a more accurate description. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It must have been the booze. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Linda was up close to me, hands lightly resting on my waist. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The brief snarl with Ste was soon forgotten to me. It was more my own selfish frustration with his relatively late appearance to absorb Hayley's irritation of me that had bubbled over, rather than what he had said. Perhaps I had overreacted somewhat. It wasn't in my nature to be aggressive. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I just got quickly tired of smart-arse people who in actuality, had nowhere near the level of intelligence, passion and character I possessed. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Not a boast, mind. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A statement of will and self-belief.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It must have been the booze.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I switched my attention back to Linda, rocking gently against me with an enigmatic, Mona-Lisa smile on her face. I'd waited so long to express myself, I'd run so many different approaches and questions through my head in the past. But now, despite the lager running through my veins, I was struggling.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Funny how things turn out...innit?" was about all I could offer.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Certainly is.... Remind me, how exactly did we split up in the first place?" she replied, the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I winced when I thought about it. It was really originally down to me and my own stupidity.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I felt I should keep it stark, honest. There way no other way.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Yeah...that's it. That particular weekend, I was skint, remember? And the the Matthew Street Festival was on...And I couldn't afford to go out. And I remember calling you to tell you that and you were so disappointed.....But at the last minute Peter lent me £20 and I went out with a few of the lads...But I didn't call you to arrange to meet up...So quite rightly you were fuming with me when you found out....And things just sorta broke down between us..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She raised an eyebrow expectantly. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Something vital was missing.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Listen, I'm so sorry Linda. I was acting like a dickhead, I admit, totally. I should have treated you so much better than that, it was out of order of me to do that to you - to lie, I mean. But that was nearly 5 years ago and I'm different now.....I've matured.."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Her frown dropped and she smiled once again. Perhaps I had convinced her. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Was that so hard to say?" she simply said.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Well yeah.....and no. It was easy for me to admit I was wrong...but waiting so long to say it to you face-to-face was hard work, you know?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"I know.... It's always tough, breaking up...Never easy is it? But I can see that people can change.." </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The simplicity of what she said rang true, that was for sure. It made me want her back even more. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I'd missed being on the level with someone. The train-wreck relationships of the past still haunted me. Another shot at the title with Linda would be worth working hard for.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It seemed that if there was ever the right time to say it, it should have been there and then, in a good mood.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Not planning on going anywhere else tonight...are you?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">She took her face away from my chest and glanced up at me, her eyes sharpening.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Wasn't planning on it...why?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I squeezed her waist and pulled her back close to me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"It's just...If you fancy we could go to mine...my flat likes..." </span></span></div></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-27721181297440532832009-08-19T13:39:00.000-07:002009-08-24T15:21:32.715-07:00A real eye-opener (only when you're bevvied).<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiryaIqx3ACel4mXC-nTehJDNU-xdQyuNSO4exSz-UA5-R9EWwyBknVsLKxc_n1-UlfSbpqJevNGIVNwOJpXnERx4pQOoN-_IzBeTJR-lJoufz8rPmwswD_5MpIPNt_Jb_6Wx-sugvK8jY/s1600-h/2525058379_c40709d686.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiryaIqx3ACel4mXC-nTehJDNU-xdQyuNSO4exSz-UA5-R9EWwyBknVsLKxc_n1-UlfSbpqJevNGIVNwOJpXnERx4pQOoN-_IzBeTJR-lJoufz8rPmwswD_5MpIPNt_Jb_6Wx-sugvK8jY/s400/2525058379_c40709d686.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5373658391939580162" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>he</span> Rubber Soul. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Not</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> on my "favorite bar list" in Liverpool city centre. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It always struck me as somehow cheap and trashy, no grimy charm to the place. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Not like Flanagan's or The Grapes, where the Beatles used to have a pint before and after gigs.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Or even Lennon's Bar, with it's dank, damp, moody staircase and overpowering smell of stale ale. Even though it was more commercial than a street hawker, Lennon's had a "dirty-old-town" feel to it that was impossible to knock when you were crammed in there singing oldies surrounded by your mates and tidy female out-of-towners.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Rubber Soul just seemed like a piss-heads bar to me. No real hook to draw me in. Maybe I was deaf/blind, but no-one seemed to sing it's praises like they did of the other venues on Matthew Street.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was surprisingly upbeat walking into there after the girls, though. The two Incredible Hulk look-a-likes even smiled - to a degree - and muttered an "Allitte lad?" as I passed them.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This was different.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The dreaded tourist trade didn't matter once I rolled through the front door of that place. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There were no tacky t-shirts, postcards or posters on sale. It seemed to be totally populated by locals, no foreigners were evident, even amongst the hundreds of people who had piled in straight from the races.. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Which was a double-edged sword.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">On the one hand, there were lads just like myself, out on a jolly, no cares in the world, fuck-it-lets-get-wasted-and-dance-to-the-music that when we wake up, we'll rub our heads and call our mates and laugh about it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">On the other, there were the middle-aged fellows in cheap St. John's Market imitation leather jackets who'd had an early argument with their other halves, larily scanning the faces around the packed bar, an invisible de-militarized zone around them. Should any drunken reveller be unfortunate enough to stray into that body-space, they would have a serious straightener on their hands, despite the gorillas guarding the doors.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Thankfully, people seemed to pick up on that very possible threat with that strange shared sense of: "pretend that a snarling bruiser isn't actually in the room, whether he's looking at you or not".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A respectable distance was observed by all, no matter how much booze they had ingested.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I wriggled through the crowds to the bar to spot Linda, who was standing expectantly, waving me over. Alongside her was Hayley, who was drunkenly draped over a young guy in a grey suit, his back turned to me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Wharra yer 'avin?" slurred Hayley, turning to face me with a conspiratorial smile.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"You sure? I mean...I got dollar, like..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Nah, its allittte....STE'S payyinn.." She squealed with dirty laughter as her grabbed her ass and planted rough kisses on her neck.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I had to tap her male escort on the shoulder to acknowledge him properley. He turned to me slowly, a drug-induced smile painted onto his Cheshire-Cat features. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Wasssappenin lad? Aahmm....STE. Whatsyername...Whatyeravvinn?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Even though I could feel the effects of the booze kicking in, I had to remain reserved. Not in the defensive sense mind, just to be cordial.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah...pleased to meetcha.. Fred...." I offered my right hand out, which he shook with a lazy, limp manner.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Bread?" he blurted, giggling to Hayley, who fawningly looked upon him like he was the golden Buddha, such was her attraction to him. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There was a sudden tap on the top of my head.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">"Shit attracts shit. Remember that". </span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">"Maintain your stance, my boy".</span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Thanks, Little-demon-on-the-shoulder. I should really pay attention to you more.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Nah....FRED."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He jolted back somewhat, perhaps shocked I was so blunt with him. I could see he was no fighter. Not that I classed myself as one. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But for a moment, an unspoken understanding flashed between us. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He knew not to fuck with me verbally. And I'd had too many stupid school playground fights to do so. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I felt no fear. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I could see why the likes of Hayley had latched onto him. He was tall, well-dressed and docile. She would definitely call the shots between them. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Me - despite Linda now pulling my arm, trying to draw me away - I instinctively knew I could take this whopper down. Not even through fists or feet. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Words and observational skills would be enough</span></span>.....</div><div><br /></div></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-11067645692084113592009-08-11T11:04:00.000-07:002009-08-13T16:25:18.968-07:00Hittin' town.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZPZjwVUksyWae7dbSQ6Avt-8KpqfOETF-EdkJQQHK0v80qGLybcNOx8IbkpXS8A4QeHkDKtNuUvO96hjsJRxkvpbIC6-407fPF2BK09aPPh9IBR9jv6y0tXkaGrgKuJp2w92P4SUxvsM/s1600-h/898775-Beatle_Street-Liverpool.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 322px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZPZjwVUksyWae7dbSQ6Avt-8KpqfOETF-EdkJQQHK0v80qGLybcNOx8IbkpXS8A4QeHkDKtNuUvO96hjsJRxkvpbIC6-407fPF2BK09aPPh9IBR9jv6y0tXkaGrgKuJp2w92P4SUxvsM/s400/898775-Beatle_Street-Liverpool.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369135528835026034" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We made our way out from the Hogshead, crossing over to the top end of Matthew Street, passing a long chain of black taxis that were disgorging dozens of drunken revellers, all in their suits and dresses. They must have made their way from the race-course as well, and would soon join the many more thousands of people who were circulating like an angry-migrant ant-colony around the city centre.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">somehow </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">automatically, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">sub-</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">consciously, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">obliviously, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">blatantly, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">overtly, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">craftily, </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">lustily </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">- </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> pulled Linda closer to me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She reacted with a pleasingly relaxed, lazy physical looseness and a slow, inviting giggle.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you<br />Sometimes I wanna keep you warm<br />Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you<br />Sometimes I wanna burn a candle for you.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We reached the entrance to Matthew Street, which was crammed with a dizzying amount of faces and the audible hum of human anticipation that I hadn't witnessed first-hand for a long time...Well, perhaps the closest example was at the build up to the match, but that was totally different in a way....but you get the picture.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hen parties in "naughty nurse" outfits, stag nights in super-hero costumes, toothless tramps begging for spare 20</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">P's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, street buskers being bullied into playing Oasis and Paul Weller songs by gangs of suited and booted young lads, angry-looking bouncers who looked twitchy, ready to swipe a vicious gold-decked fist out at anyone who gave them a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">snide</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">-sideways glance - all vied to squeeze through this bottleneck. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It was madness.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But it was also in a weird way exciting, which surprised my jaded mind. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; "><h1 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><i>“Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.” <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial, fantasy; font-weight: normal; ">You should learn to lighten up and smile more.....</span></i></span></span></span></h1></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I hadn't had a good night out for ages...I was smiling, both internally and on the outside, wearing the kind of grin you only get when you get a flash-back to a ridiculously funny moment amongst mates you witnessed in the past, you can't really verbalise or act it out to someone who </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">wasn't</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> there...Yet you still can't </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">suppress</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> when you're on the street and recall it, laughing uncontrollably......</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Does that make me crazy?</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">No, it makes you ALIVE. </span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You only got 75 years on this ball of rock, maximum. </span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">SAVOUR IT.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"This is shaping up to be a fantastic result, given the personal injuries and trauma the boy's been through. We always knew his form would improve, he just needed a lucky break. We have the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">utmost</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> confidence in him, and never doubted his ability"......</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I can almost hear the imaginary manager's words</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, I thought as I looked to my side and saw Linda smirking back at me, feeling her presence against my side. I squeezed her waist and she responded likewise.</span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ev'rybody had a hard year.<br />Ev'rybody had a good time.<br />Ev'rybody had a wet dream.<br />Ev'rybody saw the sunshine.<br />Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh Yeah.</span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A bunch of Japanese and American tourists frantically snapped away with their cameras at the John Lennon statue outside the Cavern pub, seemingly immune to the crowds pushing and shoving them out of the way, so strong was their interest. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Kind of freaked you out to see foreign people display such obsessive observation and pious reverence towards something you walked blindly past most working or weekend days. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Still, I supposed I'd be the same if I visited somewhere on other shores that held my absolute attention.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I found myself with a huge, heavy-lensed professional-looking camera being unexpectedly thrust into my hand, a tanned middle-aged fellow with a wild </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hawaiian</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> beach shirt and baseball cap on patting me heartily on the shoulder.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Say, buddy, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">how're</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ya? We're from Iowa, USA... Could ya be a sport and get a snap of me and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">mah</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> wife by that there statue of Mister Len-non? The "GO" but-ton is right there on the top of that sucker..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...Ok, no problems mate" I mumbled, gesturing him over to his wife, who already stood back tightly embracing the statue, as if it were Christ himself on the cross. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I fumbled with the camera for a moment, positioning them both in the viewfinder and trying to avoid the scores of people marching past until it </span></span><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">clicked</span></span></span></b></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> in a satisfactorily old-fashioned manner.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Sound. Here ye arr, mate.." I smiled as i handed his camera back. For the first noticeable time I audibly registered how drawn-out and strange my voice sounded to myself. </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Perhaps I should hit the brakes on the booze at the next ale-house.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"So...you are from America?" shouted Linda to camera-man.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah...We're here on vaca-shion...We gotsa say, a wonderful city you have, here....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Nicest people" he shouted back with a fatherly smile and thumbs-up, over the screams of police sirens, tormented buskers and the mashed-up mix of pleasingly familiar rock n' roll chords drifting all around us.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I was all ready to engage him and his wife in conversation when, almost predictably:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"LINDAAAA! STEVEN'S IN DE RUBBER SOUULL".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">With a freakish sense of speed and reflex, Linda slinked away from my side, turning her head smoothly away from the Yank couple and nodded at Hayley without a blink.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Okay, Hayl, we'll head there now".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I was about to apologise to the American couple, but the demon on my shoulder cracked me across the top of the head and twisted it to my right, where both Linda and Hayley were already moving towards the Rubber Soul bar. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The angel on my other shoulder whispered in my left ear.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Was... Great meeting you...Hope you like our city... Take care...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And with that I was off.....</span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-64329611672434707252009-07-29T10:59:00.000-07:002009-08-11T10:38:18.262-07:0010 Minute time-out<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlEdHlLbhjFPxMs6c93ebcDsgdjR-eXWfE4Ytt2oPwrjppiBJ8f01a20GJ-bQnFHIl3kOfShMmiwxFCgsvNPoC_dHMS-hsBy1uw1USLcYxu-3iHpMtzJlGjMXoBxw8_rq3nf546AER_uc/s1600-h/3296610625_7581b1ab71.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlEdHlLbhjFPxMs6c93ebcDsgdjR-eXWfE4Ytt2oPwrjppiBJ8f01a20GJ-bQnFHIl3kOfShMmiwxFCgsvNPoC_dHMS-hsBy1uw1USLcYxu-3iHpMtzJlGjMXoBxw8_rq3nf546AER_uc/s400/3296610625_7581b1ab71.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368761482866599186" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was left alone on the couch in the Hogshead for perhaps 10 minutes or so, subjected to penetrating stares and whispered </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">disapproval</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> from the other patrons at the bar due to Hayley's foul-mouthed outburst. I was tempted to stand up and announce that she </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">WASN'T WITH ME</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, but thought better of it. I was praying her boyfriend would soon show up, giving me the chance to corner Linda and have a proper talk with her. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We'd be soon out of there</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, I reassured myself.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I thought back to when I had first met her, almost five years before. It was still vividly clear. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I'd been living in the spare room of my mate Peter's house in the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bootle</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> area of the city, after returning from staying with my parents for a spell in the Isle of Man. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">At that time I was like </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Littlest Hobo </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">- lugging all my clothes and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">possessions</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> around in a torn and battered suitcase, desperately looking for permanent steady work and a place of my own to live. Peter was brilliant, he really helped me out. I at least had a roof over my head. It was just the serious lack of dollars and boredom that were the most depressing things to contend with. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">One Saturday I decided to go out for a few drinks with some old mates of mine I hadn't seen for a good few months - Edgy, Zippy, Cully, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Kennywise</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and Anthony. We wound up in a nightclub in Bootle, the name of which I had forgotten. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It wasn't the flashiest place to be, cheap and nasty decor, a breathing cliche of a DJ playing ABBA, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Whigfield</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, Bucks Fizz. A dance floor populated with mostly middle-aged women and men, dressed and acting like they were 18 again. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We argued amongst ourselves about who's idea it had been to go there. The finger eventually pointed to </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Kennywise</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, but he was too gassed at that stage of the night to care, let alone defend himself from some serious verbal abuse. I elected to go the bar, and pushed my way to the front. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was about to be served when someone tapped me on the back and a female voice behind me shouted above the music.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Are you gettin' served there?" it came, slightly slurry and with a wobble in the throat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I turned to see a girl who stood somewhat unsteadily in her floral dress, a half-smile on her face, head cocked to one side. It wasn't aggressive, it was playful. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That was what got me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She ended up not only jumping ahead of me to the bar, but with me buying her a drink.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My mates became distant, forgotten. Everything I did from that point on was consciously directed and focused upon her. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We clicked, it was obvious. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It helped that she was very attractive to me - long flowing straight dark hair, hour-glass body of a woman, an impish smile that played below her piercing blue, come-and-get-me eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We talked, trying (unsuccessfully) to be heard over the abysmal sounds that threatened to drown us out. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But words didn't really need to be said, face and body language was the key. And it was all positive, green-lights all the way.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You got this, maestro.....</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was introduced hastily to the friends she was out with - I didn't really soak up who they were or what they looked like, I was transfixed.... We sat together at a table at the side of the dance floor. Likes and dislikes were shouted to each other, phone numbers exchanged. I took it upon myself to go to the bar again, assuring her I would be back sharpish. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The spontaneous nature of how we met and gelled so quickly was a buzz, too right. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My natural shyness and hang-ups dissolved rapidly in her company. It felt fantastic not having to take the initiative in talking to a girl, let alone have her all over me. So I rolled with it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We eventually ended up back at Peters, both pretty much drunk. It lowered the inhibitions, to the point that we were almost full-on in the kitchen. Intimacy became physical in no time at all....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But it wasn't a cheap sleazy jump. Far from it, it was shared, two-way traffic. At least that's the impression I got. She was forward, experienced. It was refreshing to meet someone with such self-confidence. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I started seeing her properly straight after, walking her the short distance to her mother's house the morning after, still giddy from the booze and testosterone surging through me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was about to replay in my head just why we had first split when her voice whispered in my ear, shocking me back to the present.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"So mister....we're movin' on, maybe down Matthew Street....Fancy joining us?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She stood over me at the side of the couch, Hayley next to her still dramatically dabbing her face with tissue paper.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Erm...Yeah, Yeah sure...let's go...." I stammered, reaching for my jacket...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><br /></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-79290069148396611802009-07-28T06:10:00.000-07:002009-07-28T15:22:07.372-07:00Sweet female venom.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXyEsCc3RAos1MpQT7KCRBJ6LDJ4ZQoEY61wowY9SiIXAtU6BpQqRSpRhz2pp42MfQjMYsoVUx1bEGd36FH3TnjxPU7M-eGRr20gbKH9Dx4ZLUA34sTQdS-J0eiREU6vVjwQM98LJsbg/s1600-h/JSC%25209911%2520Black%2520Widow%2520belly%25202.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXyEsCc3RAos1MpQT7KCRBJ6LDJ4ZQoEY61wowY9SiIXAtU6BpQqRSpRhz2pp42MfQjMYsoVUx1bEGd36FH3TnjxPU7M-eGRr20gbKH9Dx4ZLUA34sTQdS-J0eiREU6vVjwQM98LJsbg/s400/JSC%25209911%2520Black%2520Widow%2520belly%25202.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5363513945844591362" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">It</span></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">became clear to me, sitting with her for a short while on that shared couch in the Hogshead pub..... </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That I still found her incredibly attractive.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had honestly forgotten how alluring she really was. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Sweet Jesus above... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She was sexy......</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But there was also that nagging, annoying personal conflict that raged in my mind. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The one I </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">couldn't</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">suppress</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The one that made me KNOW... deep down... that I was human. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Vulnerable</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Intelligent. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Honest. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">All the aspects of the male mind that lead to your downfall.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This required deep thinking.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Common-sense - the good angel on my right shoulder - dictated that I should just bail out of there and make excuses, be a good soldier and move on. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She's an ex. </span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You fucked-up in the past and never got back on the proverbial horse.</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There's a solid reason why she's an ex-girlfriend. </span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">You made that decision.</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Listen to yourself.....</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But I felt an irresistible impulse to stay and get into her head. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hell-for-leather - The evil demon on my left shoulder - whispered that I should follow my instincts, forget the past. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Get into her man</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The internal argument flew through my mind like an unexpected natural disaster. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Where do the broken chess pieces of your life decisions lie on the board?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">No contest. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The black playing pieces held sway.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Just TALK TO HER, MAN.</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It felt like the more that we spoke, the stronger the connection between us became.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She kept brushing her hands against me lightly, flicking her hair, shooting me sideways glances. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">My lips felt dry, my pulse racing. I knew she wanted me, the signals were all too obvious.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The only problems were the constant interruptions from Hayley the </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">blonde</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">, who was really starting to annoy the fuck out of me. Her trashy nature, simplistic ignorance and screeching "</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">D'yer</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">wannnaaaaa</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> slap?" persona had become painfully grating - very quickly. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">How she and Linda were friends was a mystery to me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Linda was what - 27? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Whereas Hayley looked maybe 18, 19 tops. Hayley was hyperactive, non-stop chatter, coarse and aggressive. Linda was subtle, quiet, a listener. It eventually clicked - they must have worked together....at least that was the general vibe I felt I picked up on.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But still, I just wanted her to disappear.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There were still so many unanswered questions I had to put to Linda that had been burning in my head for almost 5 years, that demanded straight-up answers whilst she was still relatively sober. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But I couldn't get a word in sideways. I just sat there silent, yet attentive, nodding and smiling agreeably like a sad journalist at a loose, easy news story. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Deep down, I wanted a major terrorist act.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There was a brief, merciful few moments of respite from Hayley's incessant whinging about why her boyfriend hadn't called and that she was going to murder him, when she eventually got up from her seat and strutted away from us, presumably to the ladies room.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"So...where you two off to next then?" I asked, nervously running my fingers up and down the cool layer of condensation on the neck of my bottle of Miller.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Linda gave me a sly smile and a sultry look from the sides of her eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Don't know....Kinda up to Hayley, she wants to meet up with her fella like...it'll be town though. You </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">stayin</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">' out yourself?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This was too good an opportunity to let pass, and my spirits soared when she mentioned that Hayley might soon be occupied with someone else more docile to chat her mindless crap to. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And I always had the back-up option of calling Edgy or Leigh should things not develop positively, from a purely selfish perspective....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Yeah, yeah I'm </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">stayin</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">' out tonight, definitely....Say, I may meet a few mates later on, was planning on catching up with them anyway. Would you like to join me?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She went quietly coy, seemed to consider it carefully.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"OK...OK, yes. I'd like that..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"Hey.....I was hoping you'd say that......." </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I instinctively placed my right hand over her left, entwining my fingers with hers. She responded by squeezing them tightly. I consciously shifted closer to her on the gaudy orange leather couch, leaning my head close as I whispered in her ear.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">'We've been here before, haven't we....? I know I made bad mistakes in the past, but it's a buzz to see you again Linda, really it is.."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She turned to face me, tantalisingly close enough to smell her perfume and see the gleam of her lipstick.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">"It's a buzz to see you, too..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I was on the verge of meeting those lips with my own when Hayley returned, screeching; "HE'S NOT </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ANSWERIN</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">' ME </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">FUCKIN</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> TEXT'S, THE DICKHEAD!!" </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">She flung her phone at the table in the front-top of the couch, the casing almost shattering with the force of the impact. Several customers and staff at the bar turned in unison, a low murmur running through them. Linda broke away from me and jumped to her side, putting her arm around her and whispering something into her ear as Hayley started to cry. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Her boyfriend can't turn up quick enough. Need some other cretin to keep this crank occupied.</span></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">They then both vanished towards the toilets, leaving me on my own, sheepishly shrugging and mutely throwing my hands apologetically up to the audience she had garnered.........</span></span></div></div></div></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-821893801218808472009-07-18T11:47:00.000-07:002009-07-21T13:49:34.568-07:00Dirty Laundry.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Ff97OQbWYmclqvZTy71besyQsFF0hCCXGcQEPb3GCB0sGazqtxECewdjHxrWvSJpX1FDGP-2cw6kev9qOyo2PPvGbl_PnUAk3BtQxGzEviuJYN-GJuLIHYXzCtvr414-tRdmwiVGdv8/s1600-h/12264150118PFEbi.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Ff97OQbWYmclqvZTy71besyQsFF0hCCXGcQEPb3GCB0sGazqtxECewdjHxrWvSJpX1FDGP-2cw6kev9qOyo2PPvGbl_PnUAk3BtQxGzEviuJYN-GJuLIHYXzCtvr414-tRdmwiVGdv8/s400/12264150118PFEbi.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361002314202132610" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">W</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">hen I reached the Hogshead pub, it was surprisingly quiet. Just a few customers milling about, most of them in suits and dresses,</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Aintree</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> 2008</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> tags hanging from their clothing like a badge of honour. I had removed mine on the way from the train station, it was annoying me, swinging from my top button for some reason. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sky Sports News was playing on all the plasma screens dotted about, and there was no </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">discernible</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> kind of music in the venue to be heard, which I found depressingly symptomatic of these franchise bars. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Most saw-dust boozers in the city had a beat-up old jukebox stuck unevenly in a corner somewhere. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That's not to say that the selection of tracks on offer were any good, like. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Usually they just featured populist shite like </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Greatest Christmas Album in the World - Ever, Now! 65, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Westlife's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Greatest Hits, Top Gear - The Album</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But there were diamonds in the rough. The Jacaranda </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bar on Slater Street was my personal favorite.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ahhh</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. The </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ja</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">c</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The original home of what Mick Jagger once allegedly referred to as the "Four-headed-monster". The Fabs. The "Four lads who shook the world".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A diverse, chilled-out place to meet your mates in. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No knob-heads with bad attitudes ripped on cocaine, no uptight women with chips on their shoulders the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. Which was mystifying really, when you considered that bars like Dom Juan's just across the street was full of them. It was like a clash of two schools of thought - People who were thinkers, with social skills, genuine smiles, alert, intelligent, cultured, possessive of positive attitudes.....and those who were not.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Just a friendly venue to sit in and chat to the stranger next to you about society, music and popular culture</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. None of that senseless fighting over how some flake had spilt your pint - a simple "Sorry mate" and you were sorted. 99% of the time you would end up sharing a few scoops with them. It was just that kind of venue.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Plus, the jukebox they had in there was the business - full albums, only a few greatest hits compilations. </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Queen Is Dead, Never Mind the Bollocks, Wish You Were Here, Are You Experienced? Kasabian, Abbey Road, Sticky Fingers, The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And the Spiders From Mars</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">..... It was a selection of familiar music that crossed decades and genres that any punter truly into their tunes appreciated to the max.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But here I was in the present, sipping on a watery, loose bevvy, the latest test cricket scores droning from the TV set above my head. Nothing to keep me in this gaffe. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A light yet insistently repetitive tap on my left shoulder. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No-one here knew me - did they? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I spun around to face this intrusion.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A bright-eyed statuesque looking </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">blondie</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, smile fixed on her face, posture firm and fixed, addressed me:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Is your first name FRED...?????"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Was it? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Of course it was. But why are you...YOU...of all people ............asking me questions such as this? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In this bar, at this time...?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah, it is.....How'd you know that??" I mumbled apprehensively.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"It's just that me mate says she used to go out with you, oh, aaaaages ago..." She said coyly, smile widening.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I couldn't think of who it would be. Several names and faces flashed through my mind. But I didn't want to hazard a guess.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah?... really?..... small world isn't it?" I said, completely scoobied.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She turned away, giggling to herself, striding away to an unseen corner of the bar, leaving me standing there mute and shocked, like a flicker of lightening had struck my forehead.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I stood there silently for a few moments, trying to examine what had just been said.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It didn't make sense. It was all backwards.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She had seemingly vanished, and I was strangely inwardly suspicious, too wary to follow her. I turned back to the bar, sipping on the last of my pint.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I listened to the TV and the muted conversations around me twitchily, wanting to exit that place in the coolest possible, I'm-expected-elsewhere fashion. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Another tap on my shoulder, making me almost spit the last remnants of my pint from my wobbling lips. I spun 180 degrees on the spot, looking pertubed, quizzical.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A quick glance, then........Cover -uuuuuupppp.....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Hello there Mister....saw you just walk in this place....Been a while hasn't it?" said Linda, her confident manner and forward nature unsettling me just for a moment. I stood there mutely, feeling awkward and nervous. I could only look at her up and down, with a fascinated sense of disbelief.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She looked so different, it was strange. Her skin was pleasingly tanned, her sleepy blue eyes gleamed and shone supernaturally. She had a floral yellow dress on that made her glow. And she had subtle slashes of blonde in her shoulder-length dark hair, not too extreme but pleasing. Her smile didn't waver, it seemed real to me, not forced.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Yeah, she looked fantastic. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Hey....Yeah, it's...been a while...... How are you these days then?" I said, laughing to myself in my shyness.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'm good...just got back from the races, had a ball.....You looking well............ very smart in that suit, I gotta say....." she breathily replied as she flicked her hair away from her face, delicately stroking it behind her ears with deft fingertips. She tilted her head to one side slightly, and bit her bottom lip. It was a slick and beautifully orchestrated piece of body language, inviting yet guarded at the same time. She knew she had me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"You on your own?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Deceptively hard to answer that. Did she mean literally on my own or in the male-female aspect? Play it safe. </span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You've got this down.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah.....well at the moment, I'm Han Solo like....was thinking up catching a few mates in town later, we've been to the races as well...." I rummaged in my suit jacket and clumsily flashed her my Aintree tag.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Oh....it's a wonder we never bumped into each other earlier today then....." she said, her fingers stroking her own tag slowly. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Listen, Linda....About the past..." I was about to say, but she thankfully stopped me by softly reaching up and placing her right index and forefingers over my lips. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Shhhh. That can wait. I'd very much like you to sit with us for a bit......It would be nice to talk properly, wouldn't it, Mister?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I imagine at that moment my face lit up like traffic lights.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah....I'd like that, Linda....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><br /></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-89508902477778751172009-07-16T16:29:00.000-07:002009-07-17T22:37:08.835-07:00Sentimental journey.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbUOJFetSKofruIpqmy_q3zFIEjec-5DtM2f1W6vJYJ5FFhmVYteHVxBRYQVMWJSZqwbUO_4Rt2YFk1EBbrNza60YPhQMTaQTwtPnatGQgdhfs9JQNFY1yL4luIzFHB5MkZliMyHssbH0/s1600-h/800px-Nelson_Mounment-1.JPG.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbUOJFetSKofruIpqmy_q3zFIEjec-5DtM2f1W6vJYJ5FFhmVYteHVxBRYQVMWJSZqwbUO_4Rt2YFk1EBbrNza60YPhQMTaQTwtPnatGQgdhfs9JQNFY1yL4luIzFHB5MkZliMyHssbH0/s400/800px-Nelson_Mounment-1.JPG.jpeg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359504371456353458" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, fantasy;color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">As soon as the last race was over and the crowds started to surge out of the exit gates, we all made our escape. Edgy was off to see his bird, as was Leigh. Mark wanted to hang out on County Road, he was too smashed to even consider going into the city centre. It took 15 minutes of dead-end, argumentative debate with him to settle the whole issue.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That left just me and Zippy. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">God bless him, I thought he was a smashing lad. He'd give you the very shirt off his back if you asked him for it. And he was a top mate when you were in a jam.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But his endlessly repetitive wild-eyed, rabid rants about Shankly, Daglish, Rush, Barnes, Rafa Benitez and his squad rotation policy, Istanbul 2005, and how Gary Neville was an absolute TWAT - were getting too much to bear. It didn't matter that I was a blue - it was just the same old vinyl to me, stuck on a jumping needle. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There's a time and a place, Ste. I just wanna party.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was somewhat relieved when he stubbornly insisted on staying in West Derby Village for a few pints. That did me just fine. I fancied hitting the city centre for a few before going home - Maybe catch up with Edgy and Leigh later on.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I made my farewells and headed to the Merseyrail station. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was crammed with hundreds of people, singing, dancing, drinking, fighting and fucking. Nervy squads of painfully young, obviously inexperienced policemen tried to maintain order as the train flew into the stop, desperately trying to keep people from falling into the path of the rumbling machine. It was like central Tokyo at rush hour, but without the orderly, clock-work precision and that strange (to Western eyes) sense of silent manners that the Japanese seem to innately possess. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">After much swearing, shoving and pushing, I found myself stumbling into a carriage near the front, trapped like a sardine between a blind-drunk overweight girl with a hideous Kermit-the-frog green dress on, and a young lad with fresh sick plastered all over his suit, seemingly falling asleep where he stood. There were muted cheers, whistles and cat-calls from the passengers as the doors of the carriage shut and started to jolt forward.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Maybe town was a bad idea, I thought. There would be blood spilled on the streets that night, no doubt. Always was when it was fine weather and people were trashed. I deliberated whether to get off and meet Mark or Zippy - the next stop wasn't that far. Safety in numbers and all that. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But a flash of a smile from the girl the opposite side of the carriage swung it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No, I had bigger fish to fry. I tried to maintain eye contact, but she turned away as much as the confined space would allow, holding her mobile phone to her face as she laughed into it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Town it was.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The journey didn't take that long. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Maybe 10 minutes or so. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was enlivened no end by the guy across from where I stood with his shirt unevenly tucked into his trousers, shirt and tie ruffled, who suddenly decided to take a piss on his seat. He instantly created a torrential river of boozy urine that ran down the carriage mercilessly, sending people scattering to avoid it, screaming curses at him as he stood there, grinning idiotically to his mates, maybe around 20 guys, half of whom were collectively stood holding their heads in their hands, shaking their heads in shame.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He was ruthlessly panelled by four or five others for his trouble and thrown unceremoniously off face-first at the Sandhills station, rolling over himself several times with the momentum, eventually lying face up, staring at the sky mouth agape. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">His spectacular exit was to a chorus of "WHA-HEEEEEE-EEYYYY!!! HA HA HA HA!!!" as the doors slid shut and we pulled away.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Comments bounced around our carriage.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Young ones these days...No respect, eh Arthur??" muttered the respectable-looking old lady standing with her husband, shaking her head rhythmically.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Thought yer told him to wait till we got ter the station?? What am I gonna tell his ma now??" said the lad's stocky, no-neck mate to the rest of his crew, shaking his first in exasperation.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Was he with youse? He's a fuckin' disgrace!!!" screamed the big girl next to me in the pea-soup green dress, jabbing her finger at them accusingly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Moorfields station finally pulled into view, and I wriggled through the ram-packed carriage to alight.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I made my way out of the station hopping up the escalator, deftly dodging a pissed-up couple on my way, who were sitting on the moving steps, having a blazing row. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's a blessing being single a lot of the time, I remember thinking as I eased past them, their drunken slag-match reverberating up and along the tiled corridors.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">DAYLIGHT.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A deep breath.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I thought about calling Edgy or Leigh. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No, scrub that, I'd wait till I reached a boozer.</span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Right, let's go. Watering hole of choice? Hmmmm....not too sure. Not too arsed that I'm on my own now. I'm my own best company, really. Just want to muse about the day and have a reflective couple of scoops.</span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Hogshead bar on North John Street seemed handy enough. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I strolled through the square at the rear of the Town hall, soaking up the late afternoon sun, absorbing the great architecture for what felt like the first time. The Nelson monument, the war memorial, the imposing, powerful Exchange Flags buildings that loomed around me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Britain had survived (and won) WW2 thanks to this remarkable area. The secret navy base that guided ships across the Atlantic Ocean against the Nazi U-boat fleets was hidden underground of this square, transmitting vital signals to those slow, vulnerable merchant vessels delivering food and essential materials to the nation. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was now a tourist attraction, but my Grand-dad Joe and Grand-dad John, who had both served in every theatre of that savage conflict, had told me stories about it when I was a child, when it was still on the official secrets act. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You can't silence - or deny - the words of </span></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">GREAT</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> men, </span></span><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">REGULAR</span></span></b></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Liverpool men who lived and fought in such a colossally historical event. There's no generation written about in the annals of human history that can compare with the mental, moral or ethical strength of those fellows.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">They saved the world, plain and simple.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was times like that, that I wished I'd had a jazzy digital camera on my person. You took the great, epic, crafted elements of your home town for granted sometimes. Only your aged eyes and first-hand experience of walking by them gave you the vision and insight to accept and understand how hard the people who made such magnificent buildings had slaved and toiled to design and construct them.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A police siren and the honk of a taxi horn snapped me out of my moment of historical fascination.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">To the pub, I thought.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Shuuuruup lad...I never knew that.....Abaaar the war and that....." uttered Dean, leaning forwards, utterly entranced by my storytelling.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah....Oh yeah....I gotta get to that bird, kinda lost track there forra minute....Hang on...Here we go....."</span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-47230290171693062972009-07-15T11:45:00.000-07:002009-07-16T14:29:08.368-07:005 months before.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBBrOe6Qm2idL-Ig9wVkoGR92yTBbEXR7qP3Pnc0OUIArSzp-BBdsGTVf-ibp3HaJx8TsCpVivZKxpiSVdvHEfANTi62OESXUDkVU15jjl2GcLLQBOXtiRE0Y7HfUjLyaOYBSuohnsCh8/s1600-h/Aintree+Races+bzTJxdykWb_l.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBBrOe6Qm2idL-Ig9wVkoGR92yTBbEXR7qP3Pnc0OUIArSzp-BBdsGTVf-ibp3HaJx8TsCpVivZKxpiSVdvHEfANTi62OESXUDkVU15jjl2GcLLQBOXtiRE0Y7HfUjLyaOYBSuohnsCh8/s400/Aintree+Races+bzTJxdykWb_l.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359173127164694882" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div><br /></div>April 4</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">th</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> 2008. Ladies Day, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Aintree</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Home of the greatest steeplechase in the world. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And a trainee psychologists' paradise.<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was looking and feeling more lethal than a great white shark - a jet-black suit, maroon shirt topped with an ice-blue, pencil-thin tie. Brand-new BASE LONDON shoes on, not a scuff or scar on the black leather to be seen. The kind of outfit I could happily go into the final oven wearing.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The weather was pleasant, sunny but not too warm. A godsend when you're kitted out in your best gear for 5 or so hours, on your feet all day, necking over-priced booze like it's 24 hours until </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Armageddon</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> and last orders at the bar.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Normally, such events weren't my scene. It was all too forced and false for my liking. Young lads with cheap NEXT suits and shoes on, hastily procured just hours before the event, strutting about the place like Tony </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">FOCKIN</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> Montana, snarling and curling their fists like they had a real point to prove. But just what was the point, exactly? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I just buzzed off their collective </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">demeanour</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">, their shallow, clueless, soulless, balless attitudes. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">You have a cheap suit on. And a shitty vision of life and how the world works. No doubt you'll either get yourself some action off a random slag in the Mood Indigo bar tonight or an arrest sheet. Possibly both. </span></span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Me? I was above such stupidity. I just wanted to have a good time.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I'd met up with a few old mates - Edgy, Mad Mark, Leigh, Zippy. We had already sunk a few pints before entering the racecourse, mindful of the fact that the price of entry and alcohol would be hurtful to check your bank balance over the morning after. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">After a trawl around several bars packed with an assortment of screeching middle-aged should-know-better women crudely plastered in fake tan, we eventually got to the race venue. We were individually patted down by the stone-faced security men at the entrance, who looked bored to tears. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The place itself was heaving, masses and masses of people, some already drunk, wobbling about the course perimeter comically. The bars dotted around the track-side were heaving, doing a roaring trade. We all chipped in to buy a crate of lager. It would save having to wait to get served for ages. It was a ridiculous amount - around £40 if I recall, when you could go to the supermarket down the road and get the same number of cans for under a ten-spot. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">That's the real reason they were searching people, I reckoned. Not to weed out terrorists - they just wanted to ensure no one was bringing their own booze in, so that you would be forced to pay over the odds.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Mark placed our bets on for us - I was useless at gambling anyway, so I just let him put my horses down for me. I had no passion for it to be honest, but the other lads just lapped it up. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I was more interested in the women knocking around the course. There were some spectacular ones, that was for sure. Naturally beautiful, not too much make up on and tastefully dolled up for the day. It was hard to stay focused on the actual races, just looking about. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Bunches of lads like ourselves wandered about, competing over the attention of these choice females. There were occasional flare up..."Yer lookin' at me fookin bird? Yer was wasn't yer ya CUNT!!!" </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Then predictably an all-too-brief fight would kick off, to a soundtrack of ear-splitting female shrieks and low, tribal male grunts. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But no-one really got hurt. It was funny to me, they all seemed to get in their own way as they swung their arms wildly about like human windmills, doing more damage to their own self-esteem than to their opponents. Even the big guys who looked handy in a scrap were useless, their tight suits and drunkenness inhibiting their fighting prowess. Security men would then show up within seconds to stop these sideshows, racing in like Terminators, garish black Kenwood jackets on, brows perspiring. It was ridiculous. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Although the prize of a beautiful woman was worth fighting over, even if you were wasted.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And there was the flip side of that particular coin of course. The vulgar, trashy stuck-up bitches who looked and sounded rougher than sandpaper. The females that made you wince in embarrassment, the kind that blindly play to the stereotype tune. I wondered what people from outside the city would make of Liverpool after encountering such individuals. The impression would not be a good one, that was certain. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The day flew past, and we weren't even drunk. Pretty astounding considering that everyone else around us seemed to be totally hammered. Mark had struck lucky on the final race for just over £200, and had bought a bottle of champagne to share with us. The bets he had placed for me had been abysmal drop outs. But I hadn't bet that much anyway - £20 tops - so I didn't mind so much.....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Shuurrupp lad....where does this bird come into it then?" growled Dean, impatiently shifting about in his seat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">"Just about to get there, Deano....Trust me..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I took a deep breath:</span></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-83879007524463367302009-07-14T12:46:00.000-07:002009-07-15T04:46:27.753-07:00Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, And I'll try not to sing out of key. (2 weeks on).<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQd0N-n2BcmcFGaSJNX_U09-l8uCXjrPurHrMENGagbi6AYLm0XCo3Tu2Dngz11UcKtonx4HTC2Ew_ahAtrC9C63-PUAXj6hS-o4-u7FKIkDdSDDB3c61M428lL8E8klEKCHxEclKwDWw/s1600-h/IMGP0811.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQd0N-n2BcmcFGaSJNX_U09-l8uCXjrPurHrMENGagbi6AYLm0XCo3Tu2Dngz11UcKtonx4HTC2Ew_ahAtrC9C63-PUAXj6hS-o4-u7FKIkDdSDDB3c61M428lL8E8klEKCHxEclKwDWw/s400/IMGP0811.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358435666259371074" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 16px; font-family:arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><div class="content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div class="content" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">Days - 14 Days<br />Hours - 336 Hours<br />Minutes - 20,160 Minutes<br />Seconds - 1,209,600 Seconds</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's a lifetime, unless you're sunning yourself on a golden stretch of loose glass grain, cheap booze and ciggies in hand, loose women in bikinis wiggling about past you, flashing you fuck-me-eyes. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">G</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ood times to be had, no doubt. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Sample some local culture, be fascinated by the customs and attitudes. You call your parents and tell them that you are well, the food is great (even though it's purely full English breakfast that you've been living on), and that yes, you are being careful, sex-wise.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You feel like a different person - am I right? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">We are all just whores on holiday, playful carefree nymphs cavorting in Caesar's palace. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No comebacks, no fall-out. Just hedonism.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Beautiful simplicity, really. No morals, nobody to answer to, no conscience. Just like ancient Rome.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But when it came to 2 weeks in the Cubes, 14 days was like a life sentence.</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was an unforgiving and merciless place to live when you felt down and out. No sympathy oozed from it's damp, diseased walls. Only an unyielding and relentless blank reflection of your own pain and depression.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The routine of work, sleep, calling round to your mum's on a Sunday to show her you were in one piece, watching shit TV, reading the same passage from the same well-worn book, listening to the same music which sounded stale, even though you loved it initially - was getting very</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">....</span></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Old</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">However hard I tried, nothing could distract me from Linda's knock-back.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Or her continued silence.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was angry at the world, pissed off, on edge. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I hated myself for my own stupidity and gullibility, cursing my vulnerabilities and my naively open, honest attitude. Too often I'd been manipulated and played with like a beat-up Rubik's cube, led on, sent up. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I'd been too blind until it was too late. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No longer</span></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, I resolved bitterly as I sat in my living room, my face furrowed and lined with rage and pain.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I tried to analyse what was wrong with me, why she had treated me so. What drove me to madness was that I couldn't identify exactly what I had done to make her stab me through my fucking heart.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I never beat her, spat at her, stole from her, called her names. I never disrespected her or her family or friends. There wasn't a moment when I didn't worship her and think the best for - and of - her. I just wanted to make her happy. It beggared my self-belief that she would ever want to lose someone who cared about her so, by callously and contemptuously throwing me away like so much human garbage.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I would have died of personal shame to do that to someone with such flippant arrogance and ignorance. It was beyond my way of thinking, my upbringing, my soul. It was the reptilian, predatory nature of her behaviour that truly chilled - or was it boiled? - my blood.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Here was a female...someone who could bear children and nurture them, look after them. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The progenitor of man. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Eve to my Adam. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">And she was that shallow and cold....that's what really sickened me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">During that time, I would roll about in my bed, agonising night after night after night after night after night.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Having a keen mind can be such a burden.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I fantasised every one of those 14 lost nights about how, whilst I lost sleep and sanity, she would be in all likelihood, laughing herself to sleep with a twisted sense of smug self-satisfaction. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I would convince myself that her game plan all along had been to soften me up for the kill, make me lower my guard before she knifed me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My moment of introspection was broken suddenly by the creaking of my door, which I had forgotten to lock.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dean's annoyingly good-looking head was wedged between the door and it's frame, timidly peering in with his Superman-blue eyes.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yer alright lad?..Ain't seen yer forra while......Not up to anything are yer? Ain't disturbin' yer am I, lad...?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I shook my head and exhaled loudly. I had to stop thinking to myself so much, I reasoned as I woke up. It would be the death of me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Nah...not at all, Deano...Please, come in and sit down, have a can..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I waved him inside, pointing to an empty armchair.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"A bit of company would be....great..." I mumbled, sipping on my cold cup of tea.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"So...What yer been up to, Frederico lad? Any news?" Dean chirped with his affable, harsh-yet-familiarly warm Norris Green accent.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I needed to share my problems with someone. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dean was always with different birds, and never seemed to get stressed about them. I knew he wasn't a close mate at that time...but given my emotional state and the gravity of the situation, maybe he could be of help....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Dean.......you ever been messed up over a girl? I mean, really had your head done in by one?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">He leaned forwards to me, perched on the end of his seat, his eyes widening in that freakish way, expanding to saucers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Shuuuruup lad....All the time lad...had murder, </span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">PURE</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> murder with some of 'em.....why, what's wrong?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Let me explain.....Stick with me, it's gonna take a while" I said, not only drawing breath but dipping into the most twisted memories I had locked in my skull......</span></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-79510135924614624542009-07-13T07:34:00.000-07:002009-07-14T05:17:17.678-07:00Blown out.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitzPLNuyBWnP6yteSknGCNcotMi__9z8SsyxwMgYdfKI_UBcK7cUuh8TIdvDZxM9RqrpvABEZP7TofMoCLHmdA2k-Bfov9lFawYSucdJn93mh5dQ0NJBGy9LhsnYOPa0TY0j1kz2sQqA/s1600-h/Badges.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgitzPLNuyBWnP6yteSknGCNcotMi__9z8SsyxwMgYdfKI_UBcK7cUuh8TIdvDZxM9RqrpvABEZP7TofMoCLHmdA2k-Bfov9lFawYSucdJn93mh5dQ0NJBGy9LhsnYOPa0TY0j1kz2sQqA/s400/Badges.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357995701895494434" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">I</span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">was up fresh and early, flying around the flat with energy and purpose. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A stiff coffee, a couple of slices of toast and a precision shave, despite the cheap and nasty razors. Odd that, since they usually leave you looking like the victim of a werewolf attack. Must have been a good sign.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The booze from the night before had slowly dissolved from my system, especially after a lengthy scrub in the shower that was so thorough, it could have removed radiation contaminants from my body. Teeth gleaming like new, skin sleek and unblemished, hair shiny and strangely compliant.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I dug out some choice clothing from the wardrobe - a pair of greying distressed jeans, a white tight-fitting t-shirt and a brand-new box-fresh pair of Onitzuka 1981's. The bedroom mirror was inviting - it didn't lie as I preened in front of it, feeling different - somehow removed from myself and bereft of hang-ups. I felt like I was 17 again - raw, wide-eyed and ready to groove. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Fearless, immortal. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The world's your oyster.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I checked my watch: 10:00am. Plenty of time. I looked out of the living room window - it was clear but slightly chilly, no threat of rain. I pulled out my black suit jacket and threw it on. A decent match. I added a couple of funky distinctive badges I had picked up from work to the lapel to give it a slight rock n' roll look. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Perfection. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I looked and felt bad-ass, ready to negotiate....</span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">NO</span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, make that charm her into submission.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Right - priorities. Had to get some essentials in. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I ran through the list of items that would be required in my head as I locked up and left my flat, heading the short distance to the Tesco's store down the street. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Nothing would be left to chance, all avenues were to be covered.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2 bottles of wine - 1 white, 1 red</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Scented candles</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Cakes - chocolate</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Wine glasses - pack of 4</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Protection</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I didn't know whether I'd hit the jackpot, but I reckoned it paid to be prepared.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was in and out of the Tesco's sharply, pausing only to admire the girl behind the tobacco counter. She always gave me the sweetest smile. Amanda......she was going out with some guy in the army. I discovered that when I asked her out one time. I realised that she must have gotten harassment all the time, probably by the local drunks and bums. But she handled it brilliantly, as she was always bright and upbeat, a dish to look at. I casually waved to her on my way out, and she shyly raised her hand back slightly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But to business, I thought. There was other prey to be had today. Not just in the physical sense either - the answers I had been waiting for for so long should be finally forthcoming.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I bounded back to the cubes with my shopping, running into Dean on his way down the staircase, his football kit on, sports bag slung over one shoulder.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Shuuuuruup lad...What are yer all dressed up for, yer own funeral?" he cackled, his head tilting back and to the right side as he squinted in the dark characteristically.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Nah...I might be on for this bird, like...looks a tasty deal..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah? Sound lad.....Besta luck to yer.....She fit or is she Johnny Rotten?" he grinned.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"No....shes numero uno mate, trust me. Got a bit of previous with her, just trying to work somethin' out" I said earnestly. That didn't sound totally right for some reason...but I went with it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Right... Well I gotta gerroff lad, got trainin' in a minute down the playin' fields, Ian's givin' me a lift in his van" he nodded back to his sports bag. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Sure... I'll let you know what happens, Deano....See you later"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"See yer later" he replied as he headed out.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I reached my flat and emptied the shopping in the kitchen, placing the white Australian Zinfandel in the fridge and tearing open the packaging to the wine glasses, running them under the hot tap. I methodically polished them until they glittered and put them away in the cupboard, the years working the night shift in the casino bar having at least provided me with superb hospitality skills. I then positioned the candles around the living room, one dead centre of the tidy little jet black Japanese coffee table.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I checked my funds: £50. Should be enough for a decent meal , I thought. Any more than that and I'd have to hit the cash machine on the way into town.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I flicked on the TV and sat back on the couch, drawing breath for what seemed like the first time in ages. The fare on offer on the screen was typical Sunday morning offerings - mindless, middle-of-the-road bile. Primarily catch-up shows for various useless reality shows and music videos for tunes I wouldn't torture terror suspects with. I trawled through the channels disinterestedly for a while.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">My wrist-watch beeped. 1:00pm.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was a bit rusty - did she want me to ring her or was she going to call me? I wasn't 100%. Leave it 20 minutes, I resolved.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I made myself busy tidying up - sorting out clothes I had left on the couch and storing them away, putting errant shoes back into the bedroom neatly, throwing old newspapers into the bin in the kitchen. There were a few loose dishes on the draining board, I noisily shoved them into the cupboard unevenly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Time check - 1.15pm.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That'll do her.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I dialled her number and lounged back onto the couch.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Hiyaaa...." she answered, quicker than I had envisioned.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Hey. That was speedy. Were you sitting on that phone or something?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"No....it was in my hand...I was just gonna call you"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Great...So what's the dance today then lady? Where you wanna go? Cinema? Italian? Chinese? My call....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It felt great having such options, so many varied cards to lay on the able.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'No....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Wait a second.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"No?" I uttered.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'I....can't make it....something's come up..." she whispered nervily, as though someone in the background was listening in.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Why...what's wrong? There a problem?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'It's....me Nan....she's not too well....and I can't leave her on her own, she needs...attention..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ahhh right, that old chestnut. Proper "Get out of jail free" card that excuse.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I see......" I trailed off, deflated. How to deal with this?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'I'm sorry babe, maybe we can catch up later in the week? Just my Nan's really important to me....and she's very ill at the moment...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Wow, the old one-two "family-guilt complex" combo. Always a knock-out move that.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah....sure...I mean you gotta look after your family and that....." I said vacantly, shrinking into the fabric of the couch.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"We'll catch up soon....I promise" she whispered.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Right...OK Linda. Just let me know what's happening, Ok? I really need to see you...It's...important, like..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I will, I swear. Hafta go now. Byyeeeeee..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">CLICK.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Talk about a gut punch.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What troubled me as I lolled back onto the couch and threw my feet up onto the table, sending the candle spinning, was that we had been here before. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I couldn't question her excuse, even though it seemed flimsy and hastily contrived. I would have looked a real bastard had I questioned it. A lose-lose scenario.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I sat there for hours, oblivious to the TV set, staring out at the ominous and darkening skies outside the window. There was a static charge in the air and the faintest hint of ozone.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A storm was coming.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-55397226938673176902009-07-09T13:42:00.000-07:002009-07-12T09:52:56.777-07:00So you game?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWEyNenzVcalAfKFo0ZVfbZqDa-A99FBf83KjIbOs_cFmfmOS0JF1FFra8ASc73ASZaXMAyXFCP3_Zo5f6UiFeDDNLiK5m2tu0nOJjuhJ3xOIidbQEubcR1uwNSUSb892rjzLbmvv3-8/s1600-h/IMGP0801.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWEyNenzVcalAfKFo0ZVfbZqDa-A99FBf83KjIbOs_cFmfmOS0JF1FFra8ASc73ASZaXMAyXFCP3_Zo5f6UiFeDDNLiK5m2tu0nOJjuhJ3xOIidbQEubcR1uwNSUSb892rjzLbmvv3-8/s320/IMGP0801.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357616968913137074" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">M</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">y mobile suddenly buzzed in my groggy hand and chirped. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It shook me to the core. So much so, that I almost dropped it to the floor in surprise.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A text confirmation. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">From an unknown number.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Stated in CAPITAL LETTERS, giving it the sense of perhaps not anger, but certainly righteous indignation. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ONLY WNTED 2 C HOW U WERE. DON'T U NO WHO THIS IS???</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I read and re-read it several times. I didn't have a clue as to who it could be. But there was something about what it said, reading between the lines and recalling the all-too-brief conversation that preceded it, the language and tone of voice adopted. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I </span></span><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">did</span></span></b></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> once write mental letters with emotional content like that to a certain female in the past....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No guts, no glory.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I rang the number that the message had been sent from. I didn't really have any idea what I would say, I was just going to wing it. Being intrigued and having an insatiable thirst for knowledge and answers spurred me on. I was as essential to my being as drawing breath.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It buzzed out for several rings. Then, an answer. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A few moments of drawn-out silence first though.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Hello, stranger" said the female voice. I could tell she was slyly smiling as she spoke.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'm really sorry...you kind of lost me a bit back there.......I didn't catch your name before you cut me off? Evidently, you already know mine, Miss.....?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">More nothingness from the other end of the line.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Then, with a weary, drunkenly incensed tone unique to Liverpool women, a response lazily pulling out it's words.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"D'yer not know who I ammmm?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I had to think on my feet. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">THINK.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The sleepiness and alcohol stealthily combined and conspired to block my brain cells.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">OK, a possible answer. I would have to go with it.....I was secretly hoping it was her.....if it wasn't, I was gonna look pretty stupid.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The letters I had wrote, they were for....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Linda?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">There was a blast of static, the TV set in the background more audible now. She was shifting in her seat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was as though I was deliberately being kept in suspense, made to sweat. What felt like a lifetime passed, the only sound coming from outside of the taxis, ambulances and police cars rumbling past my window.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Funny that....I didn't think you would answer to a withheld number" she replied, capped with a slight embarrassed giggle.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Well erm, most of the time...I don't. But I was really...curious as to who this was, y'know, given how late it is...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So I was right. I kind of knew it could be nobody else. And despite what had gone before, I was strangely relieved that she had contacted me. Even though she was clearly drunk, I wanted a real opportunity to express myself. My thinking was that perhaps her looser, vulnerable state of mind would make it that much more open to what I had wanted to say for the last 6 months.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Linda...You know that I miss you SO MUCH. Truly. And you just don't know it, girl. You never knew..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I...I miss you too, babe"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I tried to gather my thoughts and translate them into speech.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Why...I have to ask... Why did you pull all that shit on me? You never gave me a proper explanation. I've been honestly...fuming about that all this time" I blurted, charged with emotion.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Well....I didn't want...couldn't have... a relationship with you......and besides, recently I've been in a very....dark place...." came her stammering response.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I was sorely tempted to bite back at this cliche. 'Very dark place' was real news to me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Try fits of depression, borderline alcoholism, insomnia, loss of appetite, greying hair, dramatic weight loss, punching walls until your fists bleed, driving your family insane with your unpredictable, volatile behaviour. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That's truly dark. And it was down to you....you know that don't you?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But I had to suppress such negativity. It would be childish and irrational of me to say such things.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I see....... I kinda had things pretty rough my end too, since what went down between us..." I said, feeling like I was detached from my very being, looking down on myself from the far corner of the pitch-black bedroom .</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'm...I'm so sorry..." she whimpered, close to tears now. It was difficult to respond. I felt almost guilty.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Listen, listen...It's alright, Linda, really.." was about all I could say.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"It's just I've had a real good think about things...and I looked through all those letters you sent me..and they were so powerful. And that time you came round to my house unexpected with the flowers...and you were so sincere and honest and sweet.... and I just turned my back on you on that door-step and danced all over your heart...I was such a bitch, I was so cruel..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah...that was a real hard blow to take...." I muttered soberly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I could detect her breath quickening, growing more pronounced. She fumbled and fidgeted with her phone. I knew of course that she was pretty wasted, and that given past experience her words should be taken with a shovelful of industrial salt. But then she had taken the initiative to call me...and that meant something, surely.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I shouldn't have felt like that. I should have taken a hard-ball approach. I should have screamed abuse at her and told her about the anger, pain and worthlessness I had felt over her. But there was an overriding sense of warm sentiment and airbrushed, soft-focus memories that dominated my mind and held sway of my consciousness, the moment I realised it was her on the other end of the line.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Say, you maybe wanna link up? Talk about things...... perhaps tommorow? Go for a coffee or a meal somewhere quiet...?" I heard myself ask.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She hesitated, seeming confused and disorientated. Somewhat reluctantly and with an air of trepidation, she meekly whispered into the handset.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yes...that would be....just what we both need....a good sit down...to talk about....stuff..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">She didn't seem to positive about it, but it was a start, I supposed. And I found my optimism crushing my cynicism in a heartbeat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Look....I only ever wanted to make you happy, Linda. I ain't no punk....I'm real....you know that, right?" more confident, commanding and assertive now.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I know that....Things were just a bit...crazy...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"But that's the past, yes? This is the moment. We both adults now, we're not children...." I replied sharply.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I wanted a firm promise. No lies, no deception.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"So....you game? No plans for the day? I'll call you tommorow? My treat, we go to town in the evening?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"O-ok....Yes...."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">That was it. A breakthrough.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"I'm really drunk, sorry...I should really get some sleep then, if we meeting up like...." She whispered.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Yeah, best to save the heavy conversations for tommorow, I thought. There would be plenty of time to sort things out then, clean the slate. Maybe even re-kindle things. It was an enticing window of opportunity to salvage something that felt tantalisingly viable.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Sure....You're right, it's really late...I should get some rest too....I'll deffo call you Linda, alright?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah... make it after 1:00pm though....I'll be waiting..."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Got it.....look forwards to it...We'll see each other tommorow then?"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yes, we will babe. Gonna sleep now, so tired...Nite....."</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">CLICK.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><br /></span></div></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6614685016475721390.post-7585929117396420532009-07-08T09:59:00.000-07:002009-07-09T10:42:29.980-07:00You have 2 missed calls.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHo3VX5wug2_9jz-aCOMpublpuulMlYJDYlI40tKoQCbfegpAmhT_QBgY3Jf768NCnyQI2MBmpnsiLjn_KD89yMBfi3t409KIiBNfP932dG-rUdG4OTwade7vNaelFyalbMdHz9UaK_qY/s1600-h/samsung-d900-mobile-phone.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHo3VX5wug2_9jz-aCOMpublpuulMlYJDYlI40tKoQCbfegpAmhT_QBgY3Jf768NCnyQI2MBmpnsiLjn_KD89yMBfi3t409KIiBNfP932dG-rUdG4OTwade7vNaelFyalbMdHz9UaK_qY/s320/samsung-d900-mobile-phone.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356188777328607186" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">I</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">was in the initial death throes of a ruthless hangover, the cheap booze consumed in Dean's flat a few hours earlier still sloshing about inside me, poisoning my veins and my mind. I thrashed about in bed, every skin pore sweating alcohol mercilessly.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">2:00am, the calls came. I'd ignored the first two, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">aggressively</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> pulling pillows over my head to try and drown out the shrill, unforgiving ring-tone.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">No use.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You could communicate with dolphins with frequencies that high-pitched.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A third time my mobile phone rang. I finally reached down to the side of the bed to pick it up, fumbling blindly in the dark. I eventually found it and brought it up to my squinting face.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">UNKNOWN NUMBER read the caller's name.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I deliberated whether or not to answer it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The way I saw it, why hide your </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">identification</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Was it someone I owed money to? Was it a pissed-up mate who had lost his keys and wanted to crash for the night on my couch? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Was it the police? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Was it the grim reaper?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Only one thing for it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"'</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ello</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">?" I croaked, still half-asleep. My voice sounded different, </span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">strange</span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">OLDER</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> to my own ears as I pressed the </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ANSWER</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> button on the cheap handset.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">c</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">o</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">u</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">l</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">d</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">h</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">r</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">t</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">h</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">u</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">n</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">m</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">i</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">s</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">t</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">k</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">b</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">l</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">s</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">o</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">u</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">n</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">d</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">o</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">f</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">T</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">V</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">s</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">t</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> on at </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">LOUD</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> volume in the background, but there was no real voice echoing down the line to me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"HELLO??" I repeated, sitting up now, growing more irritable and alert as I rapidly started to wake up fully, my brain and senses lighting up like a NASA mission information screen. That strictly male supersonic snap of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">testosterone</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">endorphins</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and the </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">indescribable</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> shudder of reality you only get when you get taken by surprise flashing through your person. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">You know what I'm talking about.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's frightening yet thrilling at the same time. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The kind of feeling you got when you were 14 and nearly got run over by a goods lorry. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Or catching a </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">MAJOR</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> new story on the television set like 9/11 breaking when you had just got back from living in </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Tenerife</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> for 6 months, sunburned, athletic and as sexy as you'll ever be. Yet at the same time, you're suffering from glandular fever and chicken pox </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">simultaneously</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and were lounging on yer mam's couch, thinking to yourself: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"It's a bad Hollywood thriller". </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">But hang on a minute, why is it on every channel?? And why do I suddenly feel so sick to my stomach?? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Or, here's a killer. Your Jack Russel terrier getting killed on a busy road when you were 9 years old and all the kids in the street were sobbing in horror. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Or climaxing the first time with your girlfriend, or a....................</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A female voice, slow and measured, with a nervously playful tone & an alluring lift at the last breath of each sentence finally broke.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Is this...Mister...... </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">RYLANDS</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">??"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Wow, that woke me up. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">How did they know my name??? My number??? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">A kick of the old common sense.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">PLAY IT COOL, MAN. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">IT'S ONLY A PHONE CALL, NOT AN ARGUMENT IN A PUB, FACE-TO-FACE. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">NO MANO-A-MANO.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It's a phone call.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Right, deep breaths. Get your head together. Chill, baby. You can handle it. No sweat......It's alright man.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Speaking".</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Whoever it was I responded to, I thought in my zen-like state, they didn't sound official. It was a Liverpool accent, and given that it was now Saturday 23rd October 2009 at 2:30am in the morning GMT. No way it could have been the bank, the TV license people, the coppers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Does Mister Ry-Al-Lands remember telling a certain lady about her warm gentle soft kisses and her gorgeous smooth hair, and her kissable silken skin?? Does he truly remember saying that? In writing??"</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Though the words sounded and read like they were from my pen, mind and soul, they freaked me out for real.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Were they taking the piss?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I tried to play it like it didn't matter, like it was a game, a joke. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">DON'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Well, erm....that...kinda narrows it....down..." I whispered with a naughty smile.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">CLICK.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">They - she - whoever - had put the phone down on me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I sat there for what felt like 30 minutes, a million questions running through my mind. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What was the fucking script here?????</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, -webkit-fantasy;"><br /></span></div>Fred Rylandshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18183242800223295432noreply@blogger.com